Flow Forwards..

Posted by on Apr 5, 2016 in Balance, Intentions, Yoga | No Comments

flowforwards

If water doesn’t flow it stagnates.  You can’t drink stagnant water, it becomes toxic.  Just like water, if we stand still we’ll stagnate.  Some of the hardest lessons can be to let go of the familiar.

Letting go of stable jobs, ideals for how you saw yourself living, people, places, things..  By holding on to the edges, or those things you need to surpass, you limit the flow in life and in essence, deteriorate, loose vitality..  Allowing the rawness of new  territories, fully feeling the flow cannot only be painful but liberating..

2 years ago I left my cushy office job.  I had fantastic bosses, space to do handstands in the kitchen, easy work, good pay and walked to the office in no time from my studio flat.  It was amazing.  All except the fact that I had a constant deep gut feeling that I didn’t belong there (that and the fact I was the only one who would practice yoga in the office space, why not?.. ).  It was far from easy but it was simple.  I ended up landing a lot of new work very quickly under the wing of an amazing woman who needed lots of help with her work, it got me started..   It’s beautiful when you trust and let go into the flow, nothing can stop you!  It’s that trusting to let go part which is the hardest..

If it excites you, you’re on to a good thing for your flow..  If there are still too many obstacles which you cannot yet clear, then there is something still not right for that particular alignment.  You can only make the move if you really believe in yourself and what it is you are sharing, confidence helps, a lot (even if it’s only based on a feeling of it’s do or die!).

2 Months ago I left my marriage.  My wonderful adoring husband, someone who loved me more than I had experienced anyone else loving me.  But again, it didn’t feel right.  Although I was growing in other areas of my life I felt I had stagnated in my relationship, thus realised it was time to get back into the flow.  This decision was not made overnight but there were signs that it was no longer right for me.  The self-doubt I was carrying felt crippling, how could I leave someone who loved me so much?..  Someone so professionally and personally grand; such a fantastic human being..  Was I mad?..  Heightened insecurities creeping in at every opportunity, the stagnation of my situation further feeding into making it even harder to feel the clarity about leaving or not.  Learning to find my centered space is what was ultimately the key, finding that central channel which connects self to source..  I couldn’t have done it without once again tuning into my flow..

Less than 2 weeks ago I left my home!  MY home, with a separate yoga room I would teach classes, clients and workshops from; MY kitchen and bathroom (shared with your partner doesn’t really count I feel ha), my space, my front door..  It was comfortable but again I could feel myself stewing in there..  This was of course an inevitable part of what had happened earlier, but life was raw enough..  Trying to find a place to live in London ain’t much fun, consider the rat race on steroids is how I view the rental market here..  I found yet more of myself and my centre through this process, one easy and convenient option found me, after nearly pushing it away due to it being TOO easy I realised further about ALLOWING the flow within my life..

Like the work which just came up (and the angel(s) who provided it!), the room which was just so, making the decision I had been toying with for some time, it is all about the flow.  But without your centre, your flow isn’t your own, it can be pulled and pushed and [unintentionally] manipulated to help your environment rather than your soul and that, is unsustainable.

Over this time my yoga practice has been changing a lot too – much more about bringing everything back in, I save the acrobatics for other types of training now..  For me this helps.  If you’re in tempestuous times, have decisions to make or waves to ride, just remember, find your centre and you’ll find your flow.  If you can’t find your centre find yourself a good yoga or meditation teacher, book, or whatever else resonates for you..

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