Category: Energy

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Cool-Headed amidst CoronaVirus

Dear dears,
during these uncertain times (a common phrase right now, I’m sure!), I would like to be barer of pragmatism in the hope to help those in my community to be able to stay in one’s centre and personal power. 

To not succumb to fear and its effects on our health; mentally, physically, socially and economically.  By writing this I’m not meaning to ignore advice about not spreading this further, or to undermine the awful wave of deaths across the globe but, to remind us all, that worrying literally does nothing.

Cool-headed

Despite statistics and educated opinions, we actually cannot predict the future. We have an idea. There are many speculations on why this is happening, and where it is going, but this is based on the fact of the known, but the unknowns are plentiful and we will never actually uncover all of them.

All we can do is to stay present and aware so that we may be able to respond as best we can, not from a place of fear and over-thinking, but from a place of being rational and cool-headed amidst coronavirus unnerving times; responding as and how changes occur. Without our presence, we can jump to panic and often very much disempower ourselves and those others trying to help (see nurses reaction to empty shelves with all this panic buying). In scary times, we can often want someone to take the reigns and tell us it’ll be OK, to look for advice in the opinion of another (simply as I state here, just my opinion but I hope it to empower individuals, not to take away). but really, who knows for sure?

What can we do to quell the nagging anxieties telling us we might be housebound for 6 months? Or that everything may go to rubbish?!

What can we actually find safety or confidence in? The only sure ground anyone has is one’s sense of centre. As we practice in Pilates, meditation or yoga (and beyond, this is simply my remit), to find balance, to find that strong, easy place, to be where we can continue to breathe normally, despite the external factors and pressures. THIS is the only secure place for us, even the strongest house will crumble in time.

I wish to offer my services and experience as a means to help keep those around me empowered and centred so that as a whole community, we may each make the best decisions regarding ourselves and others, as opposed to reacting on fear of the unknown and massive speculations. 

Thus, I’ll be offering zoom or Skype sessions, open Pilates/meditation/yoga depending on what I feel like and what’s requested/I hear around me. Also, I’ll be continuing to offer private sessions via this medium. All sessions will be based on donation, as in, if you’re still receiving payment from your employment, or not, anticipating your fairness for us both (my work is usually all face to face and 99% of my employers ceased my employment as soon as they’ve closed their doors). Please do get in touch via my contact form if you wish to know more.


Let’s all stay in our personal power of clear minds, decisiveness and health in physical, emotional and psychological regards. 

With love, Christine

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Spring equinox

Spring equinox

Equal time split between the night and the day, and being that it’s spring here in the NH, it’s also owing to the lessening of the cold and dark to make way for the sun’s growing journey which started back on December 21st with the solstice.
It ought be warmer and lighter than then, but not always do things flow as expected.

I feel that mother earth has been throwing a few curve balls our way in a bid to bring more light to the situations caused by a lack of education and balance within the world. Even for myself, I wish to know more about how to make the best of this planet..

As you’re reading this, even as I’m writing it, ones head is in the screen, as consciously as one can connect with something so artificial still begets the need for connecting with something more real… The trees as they are starting to bud and blossom, the ground as it slowly warms, the whole of nature as it stretches out of its deep, cool slumber..

It’s still my reckoning that we are like other mammals and ought to be able to take time to restore and recharge over winter, sleep more and take stock of the year, making preparations for the next year. As we don’t currently operate in this way, to honour ourselves as living beings, rather than like the robots we create, the next best thing might be to work with the arts and sciences which support our parasympathetic nervous system (ie the one which is our natural state to being but generally becomes unreachable as we forget to slow down, even in children).

If one’s feeling frazzled, or even simply in homage to the Earth, practice yoga, Pilates, take a sound bath, nap, meditate, tai chi, chi gong, a slow walk and take in the park or forest. This will help one to align more with ones natural state (and if you fall asleep, it means you’re in need of it!)

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The Fact Is

fact

The Fact Is

That we are fine, that I am fine, although sometimes it doesn’t feel as though I am

That this too shall pass; the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the happy and the sad

It’s the waiting on reassurance from without which takes away one’s power of self and brings in doubt

I want the blanket of comfy, safe connection, but this is all an illusion

For we, each and every one of us creates our own experience of the universe

So if I’m waiting on you to tell me it’s OK or waiting on something I’ll hope you’ll do, then really truly, I give all my power over to you

To be self-empowered means no one can take the peace which resides inside our beings

Which is why I never want you to depend on me too

To be self-soothing, nourishing and empowering and able to meet another without conditioning or manipulating

To some, this may seem like I’m weak but let me assure you, from this place one never sees defeat

For we are the champions, my friend

Coming together in power, to want rather than to depend

 

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Cry [Me] a River, to Be the Best You Who Can Be

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You know those times when you feel yourself welling up?  But, you’re brave and strong; perhaps you’re in public, so you hold back the tears.  You think about something else or tell yourself “it doesn’t matter” or “Not again, I thought I’d be over that by now”, or “cry baby, suck it up!”; and so it goes on…  You’re attempting to not cry a river!

Whenever you stop yourself from crying; psychologically, emotionally, and physiologically you’re further damning, i.e. building bigger and higher that dam, which blocks you from having to feel those emotions.   So, you stop yourself crying and you’re building that wall up a few bricks more, every time you need to hold back those floods.  Every time you don’t allow the flow/motion of your energy and to let yourself feel, there’s that little bit more dissociation from what’s behind your pain, as well as what elates you.

Overwhelmed?

When a person is overwhelmed, it can feel like it will overwhelm all of the people and the structures downstream.  Depending on the setting and qualities of those people, it may do.  Or it may be that you are overwhelmed and need to put it somewhere outside of yourself.  Instead of bottling it up, look for a ‘safe’ space, and reliable, flexibly minded people,  A process-oriented/relational therapist is the BEST investment I’ve ever made, ever – but I realise that this may not be within everyone’s means. Thus, we can unload this eventual mounting energy front, in a way that we and those close to us can tolerate downstream. Cry a river in a safe space.  Everyone has their challenges, but sometimes by communicating our challenges, it can let those we love that little bit closer.

Weak?

But does crying make you weak?  There is nothing further from the truth.  To let oneself cry a river is powerful, and hard.  Being distracted by Netflix, weed, parties, South Park, shopping, Facebook, or [insert other external focus here] is easy. To sit and dig deep; to bring up the deepest pains takes much strength and courage.

All those hangups, those built-up walls, all the old repressive sayings of “men don’t cry.. ..suck it up..  ..move on!.. ..crying makes you weak..  ..be brave, don’t cry..  ..stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about..  ..dry your tears..”; they’re all blocking your flow.

Blocked Flow?

If your flow is blocked; if you don’t allow your tears and keep building your walls, then you can never get truly through to you.  You’ll keep getting in your way.  Let your tears show you what you need to process, what keeps getting in your way.

If you don’t have a good therapist, or people around you who can help, you’ve got yourself.  You’ve got your gauge of what makes you upset, go into that.  Write about it, make some art, feel it, and remember, this too shall pass.  Draw, write, or cry a river into your natural flow.

LOVE

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I Just Don’t Feel Like It

I Just Don't Want To Do It

I Just Don't Want To Do It

I Just Don’t Feel Like It.  Would missing that class be a total abomination of my physique, training, or education?  Would not going out with my friends, making me a bad friend, a recluse, or to never meet my match?..  What happens when I don’t feel like doing what’s on the agenda?   Would missing all those things affect me in a negative way?

So far, by ditching what I don’t feel like (even if it’s a last minute change of heart) and taking the time to listen to what I do want to do; I’ve gained ridiculous energy for other, previously neglected areas of my life.  For example, finding new interests, fixing my bike, contact with family and old friends, taking better care of myself, and more in depth research into the niggles which have been bothering me for years.

The I Just Don’t Feel Like It scenario I’ve recognised when working with clients too, as I work partially in the fitness industry, and it’s here people want to be pushed and pushed to achieve and do more.  You name it, it’s on the table, better buns, abs, biceps, smaller waist..  I don’t consider my teaching as fitness per se, but Pilates and yoga are both tied up in it in our society, and I’ve been constantly doubting if I push my clients enough, especially in group classes..  My thinking is, if you have the energy there to pay attention and apply yourself to a situation, THEN You’ll do the work, if you don’t, then maybe take the time to rest?  Give your best to a situation you feel like applying yourself to, though this might be hardcore napping or having tea with friends. I’d suggest, anything that isn’t wasting energy by staring into a screen..  Work with good form, not in a half assed kinda gonna do something..  In my opinion, that’s just time wasting.

Why can’t we do our best and when we need to, take a rest so we can evaluate if we need to keep going or, change track?  Why do we have to run ourselves into the ground and rely on caffeine, supplements and other people to get us going?  Why can’t we tune into our innate intelligence and realise what it is that we do have energy for?

The more we leave ourselves to NOT do the things we don’t feel like, the more we come to understand WHAT it is that we do feel like doing.  When you keep doing things because you think you ‘should’, they act as distractions from the things which may otherwise ignite our enthusiasm to be proactive and get out into the world; however that looks for each individual.   It might feel a bit messy at first, but trust yourself, that if you don’t feel like doing something or going somewhere, then there’s another part of life waiting for you to discover it..  Of course, this isn’t going to work for everyone, I’m still investigating what it is when people are so called ‘Lazy’, as I’ve never been considered as lazy, to me it seems like hardcore procrastination; perhaps fear based, but that’s a whole other topic..

I’d love to hear any comments…

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The Way ‘back?’ to Health

The way back to health, or is that, the way to health?  As I’m not sure I’ve been at my best yet..

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Having visited the M&S at Westfield recently, I bought up as many carrots, organic cucumber, organic spinach, lemons, ginger and a couple of other veggies as I could carry, and it’s brought up some questions.

I stand at the check out, my shopping all veggies, lemons and some organic milk to make my kefir with and look around to everyone else’s containing bread, cakes, chocolate, sausages, ice-cream, potato salad and it reminds me of my cravings, when I’ve been at my most unwell.  When you’re healthy sure, enjoy these things on the odd occasion (if your taste desired them when you are healthy is another question!) but if these are in your everyday?..  How was I surviving before?  Why is it that I used to eat so much which I now know can cause me pain and discomfort?

About this time last year, I was getting into good health, bone broth, Kefir, juices (some but not done right for me I now realise), but I let this go due to some personal reasons.  Now, I’m bloated, always tired, have a foggy head, and seem to have intolerance to eating a LOT of different foods (I.e. pain from too much citrus or other fruits, eczema and random spots, constipation and bloating from other seemingly healthy eats, bacteria and yeasts having a party on my insides!), enough is enough.

Detoxes are at a plenty out there but to be honest, my gut instinct is that these aren’t all for me (having a super active job).  Now, the words diet and detox can trigger some pretty whacky or scary ideas.  I’ve had issues eating enough and too much, in the past and detoxes seem to send my sensitive system into shut down, so this time I doing things differently.  If you want to read my definition of a cleanse or a detox, clicky here.

Diet is about the way you eat, not a fad you do for a week or two.  Detoxes don’t have to mean starving yourself, but they do mean having discipline to not intoxicate your system with what can cause it to become disrupted in the first place..

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Autumn has come Early for Me this Year

2015

Autumn has come early for me this year, the summer fun has been overdone..  Yesterday I acknowledged a realisation about the disconnect between head, heart and gut. I recognise this isn’t a issue for some but also that there is a set of us whom find the art of living according to how we feel, that bit harder to hear. Perhaps that’s what I recognise sometimes when there’s a group of ‘yogis’ enter the studio, and I feel a real sense of discord, i.e. some of these people arriving are also feeling such a disconnect..?

The first 4 months of this year seemed to be a constant battle between my head and my heart. I could feel my head trying to get me out of destructive threads, threatening what I’d built at work, home, with friends and in my bank account. Yet my heart wouldn’t let go of wanting to love and be loved, although my gut knew this was all external to myself and therefore somehow still lacking.. I ignored my gut, and went mainly with my heart, until it was that I landed up in hospital; my gut was pissed I’d been disregarding it’s intuitive whispers.

I can hear my heart and it’s fear about stepping out of the romance game for anytime. I can hear my head telling me to keep working for both income and, the physical strength I’ve worked so hard to build up. However, the pleas of my gut (the one I thought I’d ‘fixed’ by probiotics bone broth and healthy eating) now resound louder than ever. Again bloated, inflamed gut and spine, imbalances through out, skin pathologies, intolerant to more and more foods..  It’s time to retreat.

Autumn has come early for me this year. It’s time to retreat and heal from all this head and heart madness.  Those educated in the gut know it rules, from the immune system, the emotions, processing the building blocks of health or rubbish we feed into it to build our cells. Yet, even the word, gut, it’s not sexy, not pretty, makes you think of..? It’s association with defecation and the less attractive traits displayed, generally it’s hidden, vacuum sealed up and shamed..  It’s the most primal and natural part of us, yet why can it be so hard to connect with?

However, in this retreat, the one and only rule is, my gut is allowed to lead the show for the next 6 weeks, I feel with the issues it presents and neglect it’s endured; it’s time I listen and keep the head and the heart on the back burner to rest their voices for a few weeks too. I’ve been juicing for 5 days now (and including regular balanced and nutritious food, just juice and raw doesn’t work for my predominantly vata body type) and including a few extra supplements to really give my body the chance to heal. Thus, if I’m not at festivals, parties, social gatherings please don’t find me rude; I’m on an early drawing in, autumn retreat, some time just for me.

 

xx

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What You Look Like Versus How You Feel

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For many, many years; a lot of my eating and exercising choices have been made on how I presume them to make me look, not always putting the value on how I feel.  Have your ever been more concerned about what you look like versus how you feel?!

Yes, I’ve had to eat and exercise to help the condition of Crohn’s which can sometimes raise it’s head and put me in hospital, or worried I’d need to go there again but still; it’s only just now with some more experiences and therapies that I can see more of the motivation behind many of my basic but essential life choices.

Having had food poisoning, alcohol poisoning, tannin reactions, stress reactions (generally this aggravates the special cells in my intestines the worst) lead to many ill feelings and skin conditions; I would do just enough in the ‘right’ direction to help me to feel better but wasn’t fully getting the WHY of these feelings and reactions from my body.  Call it a blessing or a curse, I seem to have a very fine tuned body which can either work tremendously well or go the other way pretty quickly too.christinerun1crop

Eating too healthily, avoiding this type of food, trying this type of diet (not necessarily one for keeping trim but to be ‘healthy’ for my guts too, which if I’m honest, always wound up with me at least not gaining any weight through fat); do this exercise, run a 10KM to get fit (photo left, 2008, possibly my worst year), do that training plan, this class..  It’s not been easy to regain my energy, full strength and vitality, whilst having my skin and hair express the same clarity but what I’ve learnt recently makes it all seem that much more simple..

The one thing (which was initially driven by my ego too, in order to get stronger than the other people in the class) which I have been consistent with as a way to FEEL good in my body and mind has been yoga.  Since my first class in London (I had done it before but was more into Pilates) about 6 years ago I was hooked; also very close to another hospital stay for my guts but it made me feel about a million times better each time, despite still hobbling out of class in some amount of pains.

Even yoga I’ve used as a tool to look muscular, or slim, or cool doing ‘the’ poses.  Which is probably why it bugs me so much to see all the instagram bollocks with selfies, self-promotion, expensive clothing brands to help you ‘look good’, and basic shameless bastardisation of this amazing science/art which has done so much in the making of me being alive and well today!..

So what’s changed now!? I listen.  I listen to my body, not just my head telling me, don’t have that it’ll make you fat; do that work out it’ll make you look more strong and muscular, train, workout, eat less, eat ‘healthy’; that’s bad for you, you need to do this to sculpt you..  My head, has many threads of pressure to ‘perform’ (work, life, love, play..), but this October (after the excessive tannin induced stint of winding up again with symptoms of system intoxication through ignoring the subtle messages of my body) I’ve gifted myself with enough space and time to sit back and listen.  Not forcing myself to work as much, or keep busy training or something during the quiet times.  Taking education from different diets (like the GAPS, Paleo, low tannin, anti-inflammatory, alkalising) to help give me the tools to understand how to nourish myself based on how I feel, to help clear the cloud of confusion walking into a shop or a cafe and not have to just walk out hungry coz I didn’t know what I felt like..  To not train so much, to let my fast twitch muscle fibres slow down a little bit and LET my body relax; to do more of the movements I can hear my body singing to!  To let myself self-regulate more on this internal compass rather than what I see around me.

I hear and see that for many people, it’s not about taking more time to relax but more time to energise; I see that some people have a different issue to this, but the answer is still the same; is what you’re doing (or not doing) feeling good?  Do you feel good in your body?  If not, change something, try something new which does feel good!..

For some people, this listening in has always been present; for others, we’ve needed to undo or are still undoing a LOT of interfering from the outside world.  Listening in takes time, and out of the confusion is where we can blossom into OUR truest nature, rather than the expectations of our surrounds.. And after all that, when you feel good, it oozes out of you and your face will radiate amazingness!

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Heart Listening Meditation

 

heart-med

Photo Credit Miguel Echievera

This Heart Listening Meditation can help you to release fears and anxiety, tune into your true self and express the best of you.  Whatever the struggle, these past few years have had the propensity to make or break many of us.  Many have left this Earth, left relationships, ‘stable’ careers, and homes; many changes still seem to be happening too..

Physically and physiologically I’m in better shape than possibly ever before; psychologically and emotionally possibly also too but, recently I’ve noticed the heavy feeling in my heart.  Perhaps this is from before but I wasn’t quiet enough to listen to it, or perhaps it’s more recent that my heart is feeling pained as I only came to notice it when sitting down for a few minutes self-healing before leaving to teach.

Your physical heart resides in the left hand side of your chest, the emotional or energetic centre in more in the middle of the chest at the bottom of the sternum (breast bone).  The left side is side to relate to the right side of our brains, which is said to be related to our more feminine, quiet, and intuitive qualities; for me, this left side has generally been a bit more disturbed on comparison to the right.

Once I had settled into my seat, it was almost like a firework of realisation went off in my mind!..  When did I last truly listen to my heart?!.  I realised I still was in need for some deeper introspection to move in beyond the pull of thoughts, judgement and the mind.. The mind is very smart, I thought I was feeling, but  this is different to actually feeling, listening, sensing and being aware of the more subtle layers..

The heart meditation my heart shared with me is too good and too easy not to share.

Sit, lay down, or however you can be comfortable and about 80% relaxed, so there is still an edge of alertness present.  Lightly place your hand on your heart (just above left boob or nipple is probably the easiest place to sense it, and see if you can follow your heart beat..

If you can’t at first it’s important to breathe and be patient, these things can take time..

Simply stay with that and send the intention of love from your hand(s) to your heart.

See if you can tune into the connected nature of it all through your physical body.  If that evolves to more subtle systems then allow whatever comes. If you wind up thinking then notice your thoughts, if it’s a story about hurt, love, pain, fun or anything else then notice it, and come back to listening to your heart beat. If anything keeps pulling at your attention then explore it at will, or simply write it down to make a note, but be conscious you’ve distracted from the listening.  For how long you want to do this is up to you.  Start with 5 minutes is my suggestion.  Try it and let me know how you get on!

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Nervous Fibres

nervous-fibres1There IS an ease about which this body can move.

A way with no pain, no pushing and yet with full FUNction, form and freedom;

nothing to prove.

 

Having a substantial range for flexibility and strength suggests, a focal point would help one to manifest..

It’s a challenge to find ones midline when it feels like so much is on a wonk..

Eccentrically flowing through one curve to another,

even the best educated in trigonometry would end up wrong.

The centre line isn’t a matter of mode, median, middle or tangent,

rather a fluctuating sensing space beyond the intelligent.

 

The meat and bones, they simply grow,

but what is that alchemic energetic place in which they flow?

 

The subtle, the deep, the connecting place..

That which houses our energy and nerves;

the media through which ones perception translates what the senses observe..

How is it that with this bundle of fibres I can create experience from my dreams?

Yet also, co-create with you unimaginable scenes?

 

To be tuned in

To feel from  every part of the skin

To witness more than the thoughts

Move into freedom away from limiting self-talk..

 

It’s from fear we push back and fight,

but by moving through fear it leads into alright..