Plant Medicine Archives

July 21, 2017

Autumn has come Early for Me this Year

Autumn has come early for me this year, the summer fun has been overdone.. Yesterday I acknowledged a realisation about the disconnect between head, heart and gut. I recognise this isn’t a issue for some but also that there is a set of us whom find the art of living according to how we feel, that bit harder to hear. Perhaps that’s what I recognise sometimes when there’s a group of ‘yogis’ enter the studio, and I feel a real sense of discord, i.e. some of these people arriving are also feeling such a disconnect..?

The first 4 months of this year seemed to be a constant battle between my head and my heart. I could feel my head trying to get me out of destructive threads, threatening what I’d built at work, home, with friends and in my bank account. Yet my heart wouldn’t let go of wanting to love and be loved, although my gut knew this was all external to myself and therefore somehow still lacking.. I ignored my gut, and went mainly with my heart, until it was that I landed up in hospital; my gut was pissed I’d been disregarding it’s intuitive whispers.

I can hear my heart and it’s fear about stepping out of the romance game for anytime. I can hear my head telling me to keep working for both income and, the physical strength I’ve worked so hard to build up. However, the pleas of my gut (the one I thought I’d ‘fixed’ by probiotics bone broth and healthy eating) now resound louder than ever. Again bloated, inflamed gut and spine, imbalances through out, skin pathologies, intolerant to more and more foods.. It’s time to retreat.

Autumn has come early for me this year. It’s time to retreat and heal from all this head and heart madness. Those educated in the gut know it rules, from the immune system, the emotions, processing the building blocks of health or rubbish we feed into it to build our cells. Yet, even the word, gut, it’s not sexy, not pretty, makes you think of..? It’s association with defecation and the less attractive traits displayed, generally it’s hidden, vacuum sealed up and shamed.. It’s the most primal and natural part of us, yet why can it be so hard to connect with?

However, in this retreat, the one and only rule is, my gut is allowed to lead the show for the next 6 weeks, I feel with the issues it presents and neglect it’s endured; it’s time I listen and keep the head and the heart on the back burner to rest their voices for a few weeks too. I’ve been juicing for 5 days now (and including regular balanced and nutritious food, just juice and raw doesn’t work for my predominantly vata body type) and including a few extra supplements to really give my body the chance to heal. Thus, if I’m not at festivals, parties, social gatherings please don’t find me rude; I’m on an early drawing in, autumn retreat, some time just for me.

November 30, 2015November 30, 2015

How do you know if your shaman is legit?

This is of prime importance. If you decide to drink traditional medicine, it is essential to have the right administration. This needs the right person (with the right lineage), at the right place, and with the right intention.

To get the most out of it, and to keep safe, you want this to be a conscious journey from preparation on-wards.

Why not just go and see the group who has lots of followers and promotes themselves on facebook?

Sense and intuition check, this method of self-promotion and ‘smoke screens’ effect, is a front, which usually has very little substance. A legitimate shaman don’t need to advertise their retreats, as other people who have attended previously are already doing this for them. Once you’ve attended a ceremony with a maestro/shaman who is so absorbed in helping people, sharing his icaros (special songs sung during ceremony) with love and good intent; you too will want to open this channel up to as many as you can. Distributing the healing further to your friends, family and communities at home. You might (or not) find a retreat or medicine centre who has a facebook page, this is different. They don’t generally advertise organised retreats here, some shamans are gonna be tech savy, they’re human. But let the information about particular retreats come to you by word of mouth from people who have been there; tried and tested.

OK, so where does one find this ‘legit’ shaman?..

Usually in the jungle, where the medicine comes from, close to the heart of the Amazon; and by heart I don’t only mean geographically speaking (there are of course charlatans in the jungle too..). In finding these people, you usually need a contact. A reference if you will. If you don’t have one of those, then start to mix in circles whom feel good to be around and who may associate with traditional medicines; such as yogis, drumming/shamanic music circles or even better, anything which makes your heart sing. If you need the medicine, it will find you. Perhaps this means breaking out of your routine to make some new friends, and find some new information along the way.

You may also hear of ceremonies being held closer to home than the Amazon, again, these can both be legit and a scam. Ask yourself, how did you hear about it? Do you know anyone whose been? If recommended by a friend, word of mouth – if you trust this friend then perhaps it’s worth investigating. I’ve attended a few ceremonies out of the Amazon. All have been legit but most haven’t been right for me, one there wasn’t enough medicine, one it was a different medicine, and none had the safe container of the jungle; yes the countryside but no jungle, or full on South American nature and nurturing. Nothing compares to learning from something in it’s homeland, but then that takes an investment which isn’t always accessible. We have to work with what we have at the time. If you’re in a space where it’s too expensive or you can’t find a shaman to trust, at least go to a yoga, Qigong or meditation class; the skills taught to you there (again with the right person guiding you), will help to further prepare you for your Ayahuasca journey.

A final note about ceremonies closer to home, a couple of good friends of mine attended an ayahuasca retreat in some Italian mountains. It was organised by people also proposing to run training in working with Aya, they had a negative experience lets say. This was a money making excursion, too many people cramped up in poor conditions, not paying attention to a proper diet to support the plant medicine, disturbing advice/insistence during the sharing to vulnerable individuals (potentially emotionally and psychologically dangerous behavior towards the attendees), and upon investigation with friends in Peru – it would seem their lineage is false. I’m talking about a big group, with a big facebook following whom I thought was legit, until I heard about this ceremony and dug some more.. Just because facebook tells you about it, doesn’t mean you need to believe in it!

So, let’s say you’ve got your ticket to Peru, or you’re ready to book but you still don’t know where your shaman is..

Chances are you might find a contact when you reach Peru (we had 2 lovely girls join our retreat later on because they met our shaman’s girlfriend in town, and were from the same country as she, thus sparked a trusting connection, an organic interaction). Take discernment about trying to book an ‘Ayahuasca tour’ from one of the agencies in a shop or on the streets of Cuzco or Iquitos, or anywhere else for that matter (I met a guy in Cuzco who asked me if I wanted to go to the jungle with him, although I was greatly missing the jungle at this time, I also quickly worked out his intentions were not about my healing and safety..).. If it needs proper advertising, odds are, it’s not very good (think junk food); it’s people in anticipation of making money and therefore, their intentions are already not in your favor. In this case, again, ASK. Ask friends, teachers, peers in those circles you join for yoga, meditation, tai chi, nutritional medicine or somewhat, there is probably someone who knows someone!

Another report from different friends who were doing Ayahuasca several years ago; they were on a floating raft going down the Amazon river (in the pitch black, as usual), and had the impression that their shaman didn’t even show concern about them or their safety. As one of them did nearly fall off during his psychedelic journeying!.. This, and hearing reports about the bodies of people who have died during ceremony and then simply being discarded, without a word makes me urge you to take caution.

The medicine it’s self is made by the shaman or someone close to him, and it is essential for it to be done with love and care. It needs to be a pure brew. There are an abundance of medicinal (and toxic) plants in the jungle, there also are those which suit some, better than others. You want to be in a space where the shaman is completely aware of the energy, where he knows you are contained, and working with a medicine he trusts for your gringo composition. Of course, there is always some risk, just like there is when taking any other medicine or thing which alters you for a few hours; mitigate these risks and do it properly!

Many people who try ayahuasca, fall in love with it (despite the purging and challenges of needing to work on what it shows you, both during, and most importantly after the ceremony), this is generally due to its ability to bring profound clarity and healing to the one drinking it. But if it’s not prepared right, if the intentions are not clear and pure, then the outcome probably wont be either.

Consider a doctor, if he’s only in his work to make money, the pharmaceutical companies can then use him to recommend their drugs and he makes even more money. At your appointment, he will give you the most expensive pills he can, pills which have been manufactured as a part of a business (i.e. to make money) and although they might treat your symptom of migraines, there will be a whole host of side effects and ill effects you’re not sure of; and he hasn’t bothered to treat the reason why you have this problem. Furthermore, because the main aim to give you this particular drug was to make money, no care has gone into your well-being; so you suffer to make someone a quick buck..

Perhaps a crude analogy but like the advertising one (i.e. if it needs to be advertised, it’s probably junk you don’t want or need anyhow) – they have logic. When embarking on such deep work, you need to keep your logic and intuition in check at all times. Best wishes and enjoy your reset and deprogramming!

November 23, 2015November 23, 2015

Why drink Ayahuasca? What to expect from it.

Why is ‘alternative’ healing becoming such a big thing in the West? What’s happened with conventional pharmaceuticals? Why do we seek something to take the pain away over and over again (not just pharmaceuticals, drink, drugs, sex, addictions)..? Why do we get so caught up and cranky in the first place?..

Because we need help, because the drugs and the pharmaceutical companies don’t work, or, they make things worse.. Because denying we have a problem doesn’t work, because sometimes we feel the symptoms but we don’t know where to start in order to get a cure.. We are ultimately human, programmed to be forgetful and have minds which often dominate our lives; thus, sometimes we forget to ask for this help, even when our bodies and energies have been crying out for years..

Ayahuasca is a traditional, indigenous medicine which has been used for many many years to shed the veils of ‘crap’ (technical word) we accumulate during life. Consider an innocent, pure, loving baby. Then consider it’s parents (usually with good intentions), they start to train it how they were trained,to give it the same or similar constraints they were given growing up; i.e. you can’t eat this because of X, do this because of Y, if you do Z you will fail in life, you need to do W to be successful.. etc. etc.. There is also school, religion, peers and other influences which bombard this little soul until it grows up with a whole set of conditions for life that it’s taken from its family, friends and society; without really getting a chance to even express its reason for living.

Ayahuasca (Aya) helps you to see and pull back all of these layers of conditioning, to liberate the soul and give each individual a chance to reset and deprogram from the junk accumulated during life. Those fears, those anxieties, those pains you have but don’t know where they came from half the time. Aya helps you to see them for what they are and, purge them out, leaving you a little lighter than society left you (intentionally or unintentionally, everyone tries their best..).

The Maloka roof top when in ceremony during full moon

I went to the jungle to drink this ancient brew because I was struggling in life. Struggling in my city life to feel a part of something, as so many people who pass me by also felt (to me) so disconnected from life its self. I wanted to feel a connection to something consistent and healthy, something energising rather than draining. Yes, I have beautiful friends near by which I am totally grateful for, some family too. But, this busy city life plus feeling totally done-in from the years of self-abuse, drugs, men, hectic living and, even though my path was now much more conscious, it still hadn’t made up for these past 15 years where I had endured a LOT of pain, suffering and outputting energy never recouped.

You can see it in someone’s eyes when they’ve been on a path like this for too long, not taken enough heed of nature or not getting out enough from the concrete jungle, even for the humble yet beautiful British countryside.. You don’t have to have an interesting story of debauchery to have a reason to want to find this release, quite often the mundane day in day out in the city or ‘civilised’ towns, is what can disconnect you further from the precise reason why you were born.. We weren’t made to be so herded together, our true nature has been inhibited by our drive for growth and excess; but that is another story, I won’t digress..

The Maloka roof top during a day ceremony

Again, ayahuasca is not a drug on which to just get high. Anyone who uses it as such hasn’t been shown how powerful it can be.. Misuse of anything, even paracetamol, alcohol or coffee (all legal and easy to get) can end up fatal, for those people who are scared – don’t be a dickhead and make sure your shaman is legit (am writing a post for this now – PLEASE go from a recommendation, and NOT just a facebook page as I’ve close friends who’ve had a bad encounter with these Facebook promoted people, even if they have thousands of followers, not cool) and you’ll be safe.

I’m sure you get the why of it, deprogram, cast a light on those dark parts of you so hidden you can only feel their shadow. If you seem to have anxiety, stress, low energy or keep falling into destructive or unhelpful patterns..

So, what to expect from an ayahuasca ceremony?

Expect the unexpected.

Everyone experiences it differently, every shaman has a different twist on how their medicine is brewed, how strong it is, or even if you take Aya and not something different, more tailored to suit your needs. Some people see geometric patterns or visions (check out Luis Tamani’s work, there are many more artists who depict well but his is something else!), some people see unicorns and snakes! As I’ve written before, you need to set an intention about what you want to work on. Ask about something you hope to uncover about yourself, or some blocks you wish to clear, then my dear, focus on that intention and let the medicine do it’s work.. Some ceremonies I’ve had deep physical reactions, others just a few visuals and soft messages – But I cannot stress enough how important it is who hosts your ceremony, you need to be in hands of someone who knows what they are doing to help guide your journey with as much love and containment as possible (even if it feels from a far).

It was only in my last 4 ceremonies that I ever purged (down purge, very minimal up purge), the last one was intense but then I asked some big questions, and I am still processing from what I asked for now (I’ve already written about the after process here https://core-focus.co.uk/plant-medicines-ayahuasca/).

That’s all I can write on expectations. As intentions are more important. I know a lot of people who are scared to drink Aya, scared perhaps of undoing the tight web of protection they’ve weaved around their life to help feel some kind of safety or order in such a mad world; or scared even to face those darker parts of life/themselves which they don’t wish to revisit.. My opinion to this is: there’s nothing to fear except the fear its self. Undoing those threads may temporarily be uncomfortable, but we only live this life once.. This is just my opinion. Everyone is different, thankfully 😉

Much love, I hope this answers a few questions for some xx

November 17, 2015December 11, 2015

Jungle Pains

With the rains, so my frustrations eased.

Without the pain, these messages I may not heed.

With every challenge there is some gold.

Find the truth that before was untold.

Work with your pain

and free your mind.

The body is our greatest tool to the soul.

Bites, nuances, pain and fear,

this is how you know the answers are near..

Clear your mind and clean your soul.

To be at one with all is the goal.

Revel in your anguish as much as you need.

Take the time and forget your speed.

The road is long and the medicine is strong.

Now, my child, your journey has just begun..

November 13, 2015February 29, 2016

What I’ve learnt on a Plant Dieta

Before I embarked on this adventure to diet with a plant, i.e. the drinking of a medicine produced by boiling its bark (or other part of the plant/tree depending on the medicine prescribed for you); I had no idea what I was getting myself in for.

I knew there would be plant ceremonies with the native Ayahuasca on this 2 week retreat, and I knew maybe I’d be eating a clean diet for a while but, I had no idea what I would be getting as a part of the ‘plant-dieta’..

Why do a plant diet/dieta?

When you diet with a plant (also known as a master plant) you are taking on said master plant as a spirit ally, during the plant dieta/diet, you drink a certain amount of the medicine made from this plant (usually a brew from boiled bark or roots, or sometimes it’s put into alcohol) for a set number of days that you have, or that your shaman deems appropriate for you. In this time, as the plant begins to grow, it also starts healing you; don’t worry, it’s not like you’re going to be taken oven and have a tree growing out of your butt, but rather growing with you energetically and spiritually.

Each plant has different healing properties, they are prescribed based on where you are in life and perhaps what kind of healing you require. For me, I dieted with a grand tree from the Amazon called Chuchuwasha; I’ve read many different things on it since coming back to the UK but the best correlation I could get between the internet and the wonderful man who was making these medicines out in Peru was that it:

Improves energy (and yes it certainly has for me! I’ve not felt so good in at least 10 years!), helps decision making and finding ones centre. Heals scars, heals hernias, colds, burns and it’s used to heal arthritis or rheumatism too.

What does it entail?

As I mentioned before, you need to drink the medicine of this plant for an amount of time (I was in dieta for 12 days with it), at given amounts and times of the day. For me, this was 1/3 of a small glass 3 times a day, 30 minutes before each meal. I won’t lie, it tasted foul. It sometimes also had big gloopy bits, which I tried to drink, but one bit was bigger than my mouth so I had to use it as a medicine for the wildlife outside my tambo (traditional jungle sleeping hut). *gag* gracias medicina *gag*

Different shamans will have different regimes, ours was pretty strict, during dieta when drinking our master plants, we were only permitted to eat basic carbs like rice, quinoa, potatoes and oats, no salt, no sugar, no fruit, no dairy and no condiments or spices. Also allowed were vegetables, salad (but no onions, tomatoes or avocados) and the occasional small, bony river fish; but no oils, no nuts, no seeds, no meat and no legumes. This is so that the plant you’re cultivating to be your ally doesn’t get disturbed, so it has the best chance to grown within your energy and stay with you for life.

And seeing as spices are out, of course, no alcohol, no chemical products (not even to wash clothes unless it’s done for you – thank you to the beautiful women taking care of me at the centre), no perfumes, no toothpaste, no shampoo, the odd not too strong essential oil is ok, in moderation. Different master plants also have their different traits and attributes, some are strong and righteous and therefore require you to be very strict with your diet and post-diet; some are more jealous and may cause adverse effects if you wear the fragrance of other plants too much from soaps or other products. Also, no sex, no touching or hugging each other and no stimulation from playing music (unless with your own instrument), no TV, there was no wifi to offer temptation luckily, no reading unnecessary materials and to include plenty of meditation, writing and reflective time; but no masturbation either! If you smoke, you can buy pure tobacco in Peru, or mapachos, which are used in ceremony for protection and cleansing, but no normal tobacco or cigarettes, leave out the chemicals..

It’s important to adhere to how you’ve been advised as not only can it damage the diet and your bond with your plant but it can make you feel really unwell and some say can fire back at your shaman and make them unwell too. The no touching part and no TV etc is because during dieta you are extremely sensitive and open; you are open to take on the energy of others, which more than likely will not serve you; and of course, you may be dieting with a more jealous master plant! Nature is the best place to be. There was minimal electricity at the centre, only a small amount of solar power which I occasionally used to charge my phone to know the time relative to when was dinner/medicine time or upon waking during the night to know how long it’d be until sunrise!

At this centre I also mentioned the work with ayahuasca, wow, this kind of work is never compulsory but I’ve found it deeply profound in helping me to realise or remember several things about who I really am, what I want out of life and even how I can go about changes in myself to align more with the greater good. The ceremonies are the part where you recieve a shed load of information, remove a few layers of dirt from your internal mirror and re-calibrate where you’re at in life, major reset and healing time.

Thankfully at the retreat centre, everything to do with food is done for you, the expert chefs/muma/sister feed you abundantly on the foods you can eat and ensure you don’t get confused with the food which may be being eaten by non-dieting people who visit the centre; I wish I had planned in to do my post-dieta there too.

What I’ve learnt on a plant dieta?

What I’ve learn on this plant dieta, combined with the interspersed ayahuasca ceremonies (not having them every day is perfect, they require a lot of energy and thus also some proper restoration time after), is about how I received so much energy, so much clarity, healing, and discernment. I had been working with low energy levels for going on 10 years now, major problems with my intestines and digestion and large amounts of anxiety; I feel the power and the spirit of this tree is now a part of me, I feel stronger and more able to take on the world again; even from the position of living in the opportunity mecca of London.

Not only that, but I also reconnected to myself and nature. The environmental settings are key. By the second day a big part of me wanted to leave, I was sh*t scared of the hairy caterpillar farm which was a part of my tambo, the spiders who showed up in my mosquito net and all the noises of things I’d never met before. Not knowing if I would get bitten by something dangerous or, end up with ants in my pants and more than just mosquito bites on my ass, arms and ankles.. Being reassured that there was nothing lethal around me I began to get used to the ants, I stopped trying to kill all the creepy crawlies and instead got to know them, saw them simply moving about their business and neither of us needing to hurt the other. This is a BIG and ongoing lesson for me..

Combined with the ayahuasca ceremonies I managed to shed a lot of accumulated energies which weren’t mine, and were just weighing me down. I can now see a lot bigger perspective and a lot more clearly about where I end and another begins, and where we are all actually inseparable.

What now?

So now, I am during my 3rd week post-dieta which means I still have another 10-20 days of restrictive diet to really allow chuchuwasha to settle in my system and also not to shock my system with too many strong foods or products. I’ve noticed if I do accidentally disturb the diet (having cold water if you’d believe it) or am exposed to the London commute too intensely, that I really feel it. It’s difficult integrating into ‘normality’, but to be honest, I don’t want to get back to what I previously felt was normal. We overfill our bodies with refined sugar and weird fats derived and synthesised from all sorts of insanity, repress emotions, and agree to be a part of a jumble of people exuding their disdain for life – no more. I have no desire to be mindlessly drunk or to suppress any part of me. The main thing I miss is sex and chocolate (I’m talking 100% organic, farm assured cacao baby), 13 days and counting until those are back in my life.

Interested?

I’m open for questions if anyone else considers on embarking on this incredible, life changing journey. NOTE: Blog update – it’s taken my some time to process and despite the amazing dieta and healing with beautiful fellow journeyers on this retreat; I renounce my recommendation of this particular centre. It’s transpired a misplacement of power has occurred, on several occasions. Unfortunately, many western women (especially blonde) have been pray to shaman who have more ‘power’ then they can handle – unless male, or going in a couple, please seek yourself a FEMALE shaman. I know an amazing couple who work with medicine who have helped manage this situation with love and understanding, there are always people you can trust, but be sure not to put yourself in a vulnerable space..

Much love, thanks for reading

November 5, 2015September 18, 2017

Love winning

Continue reading “Love winning”

September 14, 2015September 14, 2015

Ayahuasca Adventure

So finally I’ve booked it. My trip to the Amazonian rain forest in Peru for this ayahuasca adventure. 4 weeks, just me, myself and I; set with the intention to unwind, deprogram and realign to who I say I choose to be. Thanking and leaving the past now not useful parts behind me..

Over the past year I’ve been attending regular Embodied Relation Yoga Therapy with a fantastic therapist teacher, Kate Ellis. This therapy of allowing my true threads of self to emerge, combine this with my ever unfolding path of yoga, and being married to a wonderfully different yet similar being to I; has supported my feeling the most comfortable with myself than I can ever remember being. But, living a constant life in London, so much happens so fast, with people struggling to get along with themselves and each other, I’ve found can be tiring. I keep flitting between feeling OK with where I’m at, trusting and knowing I’m on the right path, to wanting to chuck it all in and live in a tree house somewhere remote and wild.. The more I’m working with Kate and unveiling my true self, the more I KNOW that part of my path here on Earth, is to be that innocent playful expressionist, encouraging others to give in to their innocence too.. Not to be scared of the weird part of ones self, but to embrace it and transmute the voices of self-limitation into something more supportive of creative living..

Hence, finding myself embarking on this adventure, now new questions arise about what it is I might find. I’ve discussed this path with many and until last week’s session with Kate my questions just seem inhibited some how, but now.. I want to be able to decipher those energies which are not mine but yet plague me for energy, I intend to be able to see with more clarity where my true path lies rather than seeking out the safest option. This trip isn’t about getting high on this ayahuasca adventure and forgetting all ones problems, quite the opposite. It’s about shining a light on those deeply unconscious parts of ones self which feel problematic, the parts which we cannot see with this 3D viewing physical eye. Seeing these parts so they may be assimilated and processed with conscious awareness, helping to further ones path into peaceful living. I’ve been manic, stressed, hospitalised and nearly killed by the effects of stress on my sensitive system (in the forms of ulcers and Crohn’s disease); I’m now a long way from there but can still feel now is a good time to move beyond that further. We’re entering, or we’ve entered already into a new paradigm, times are a changing for the better and therefore we have much strength given to our healing. The new moon came into Virgo (sign of healing and getting things right) yesterday and it’s like the planets themselves are saying, “do it! Break out from the things which don’t feel healthy!”

The ayahuasca adventure retreat and Shaman I’ve chosen is one which has been recommended to me by someone personally trained by the Shaman and also attending this adventure. Always with this nature of work, one MUST know one’s lineage when embarking on such a sensitive and potentially dangerous journey if in the hands of the inexperienced or untrue. Check out www.kataricentre.com if you want more information on a place in Peru which has been verified as authentic.

I’ll write more about this in due course, check back later 😉

January 31, 2015February 2, 2015

Mother Ayahuasca, round 5

Coming back to the subject of ceremony with medicine, I’ve heard of a few cases of whimsical usage of the medicine and thus some perspectives to be tainted. Of course, it’s not going to be for everyone and it’s important that you must know your Shaman is someone you can trust – word of mouth generally offers a good recommendation..

I wrote in my previous plant medicine blog about my first retreat drinking the sacred vine, as known as Ayahuasca (along with it’s counter part the Chacruna leaf), to induce a healing from the inside out. This healing is usually accompanied by a felt sense (felt differently for each individual) of el madre, or ‘the mother’ which is one of the effects of the medicine going to work on your physical, emotional, spiritual, and or other bodies of your existence.

This most recent experience again has served me kindly and gently, after 4 cups (usually 1 or 2 is enough..) of the not so pleasant tasting medicine, I found myself once again on a journey, a journey of my body. It’s never hit me with explosive vomiting or toileting as means of the releasing; my purging again this time being based on movement and laughter.. Having been guided by the shaman, who was new to me, my depth of appreciation for this +2000 year old ceremony has once again grown..

I could feel the medicine working in my stomach and intestines; for the whole duration I felt nauseous, perhaps sometimes before one is ready to purge one’s bowels the medicine and moment has to be right.. As told by the shaman that it’s probably only a matter time, perhaps more work needs to be undone on my path before the medicine is ready to help me release my gastro associated workings.. The geometric patterns, stars on the ceiling and overwhelming sense that in every moment ANYTHING is possible; the squirming, leg shaking, finger twisting, skull exploring motions that again wouldn’t let my body sit still like most other internally journeying participants.. All for my interpretation pointing to the fact I’m in exactly the right field of work, with a need to further explore the physical! But there’s something in my guts still not budging..

Makes sense if I’m 100% honest with myself, I am still exploring an interesting relationship around eating (having my Crohn’s mostly under wraps) an oral persona to play out.. I thought I could get away with once again denying to myself and others that I still have work to do here, but the medicine, the mother, knows.. I am the kind of person who craves an authentic life and the medicine has helped me to once again, shine a light on the parts of me which were being disingenuous to this treasured trait. The joy and sometimes the woe of Ayahuasca, it gives you just what you need, which may be the furthest point away from what you think you need!

May the integration of lessons continue, the real journey starts now ceremony is over!..

February 11, 2014

Plant Medicines: Ayahuasca

The ayahuasca vine comes from the Amazon and is a plant medicine used alongside a shamanic ceremony to help people see past and let go of their issues. It can be deeply powerful and purgative and if it’s something you’re open to, it can show you life in a whole different way. Enabling an individual to feel a part of the whole, and less dependent on the programming and ‘shoulds’ of other people, which often get in the way of realising your true self.

Have you ever had the feeling you don’t belong where you are but you don’t know why? Or feeling that everyone around you is mad, but you can’t put your finger on it? For me, ‘The mother’, i.e. Mother Ayahuasca which is the term used to describe the presence (however she is felt) helped me to see past the labels and bad feeling I accumulated whilst I was growing up. She helped me to feel into my own greatness, get a little closer to understanding my main intention in life, and to feel more OK about being me.

I’ve met the ‘mother’ on 4 occasions, and each time I’ve not gone into it with any great expectations, but the simple intention of learning to let go of what hurts me (as I felt letting go of painful things was my biggest issue); and I’ve greatly appreciated each journey. That’s not to say it’s for everyone, I’ve been around others who have been disappointed, but then I don’t know what they went in expecting from it. Expect no great epiphany but have in mind what you want to work with, and I’m quite sure that’s enough. That along with the detox prior to and following the ceremony (mainly just a chemical and animal products detox which was luckily in line for my lifestyle already); this is to make sure that the medicine has optimal effects, and also to minimise the need for physical purging during ceremony.

Many purge (vomit, cry or need the loo quickly) but not everyone, it really is a personal journey; my first nights purge was mainly laughter, which was a nice surprise after hearing many others around me retching into their buckets. Having more fun in life is one thing I’ve been working with since. I was rolling around on my bed, stretching into my body and feeling a freedom I’d never quite realised before. I feel it’s really helped me to be more confident in my body and my expression of it, in public or private spaces. But then again, being physical and getting into the body is something really inherent to me, thus this experience isn’t the same for most other people I spoke to; all of my nights have been different. The second night was about universal energy for me, and the availability of it at our finger tips; I think this, combined with a Reiki healing during the ceremony, is what showed me my path to this amazing and inspiring ancient tradition.

The other 2 nights were more about realisations on my placing in the world, how I could be of service to others, and what I could do more or less of to make my own integration smoother. A vow of silence is what I realised in my last session; which I considered to be impossible but profound; as if one keeps getting misunderstood (as I felt), then maybe saying nothing is better?. This later transpired during my Reiki and Seichem training to be silent and to listen, really listening deep to myself and to others; not trying to change things but allowing them to be. Wow – how often do people allow us just to be with our words without trying to project their own opinions? Thank you to the mother and to my teacher for showing me this powerful gift towards being a better listener.

Before I went to each ceremony I was in a pretty depressed and disparaged state. After each ceremony I felt uplifted by what I saw and felt, from both the medicine and the people who were with me, but that only lasted until I got home. The REAL work from this kind of medicine always happens after ceremony. The medicine shows you where to go, but you need to put this into practice in your life. It’s not a quick fix you can* use every week or month to reset a little; remember, it is a medicine; not for continual use. Moderation 😉

Thus, you may get it, you may not. If you’re curious to hear more there are lots of videos on YouTube with some other great insights and perspectives. This kind of plant medicine is for those who are stuck and desire change, but those who aren’t afraid to face their daemons. I saw a couple of guys have a really hard time during their journey, but both came out of it grateful for the release. IF you do decide to seek it out and give it a try, then I’m sure the path to a shaman will open up for you. Remember, don’t push, flow into it, and use the following points of advice to ensure your own safety, as this potentially leaves you VERY vulnerable for a few hours. Thus, you need to be in a honest and caring space, with a lot of trust and love.

Know your shaman, move through a personal recommendation (especially if going to the Amazon as being from Europe it may be a culture, spiritual and psychological head f*** otherwise)
Do the detox, it’s there for a reason
Feel comfortable in the space you join for the ceremony, it’s always OK to change your mind
Ensure it is as a part of a shamanistic ceremony, not just recreational (I know someone who did and it put them off for life)
Set an intention and drop expectations
The real journey starts AFTER the ceremony

To finish, here’s a journalist and writer who made a TED talk about it (not sure if it’s still banned but the link was working when I made this blog), another point of view.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0c5nIvJH7w

Love xx

*well clearly you can use it more often but my personal experience is give it time. Trust in yourself and your abilities to move forwards.