Tag: Self-Development

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I Just Don’t Feel Like It

I Just Don't Want To Do It

I Just Don't Want To Do It

I Just Don’t Feel Like It.  Would missing that class be a total abomination of my physique, training, or education?  Would not going out with my friends, making me a bad friend, a recluse, or to never meet my match?..  What happens when I don’t feel like doing what’s on the agenda?   Would missing all those things affect me in a negative way?

So far, by ditching what I don’t feel like (even if it’s a last minute change of heart) and taking the time to listen to what I do want to do; I’ve gained ridiculous energy for other, previously neglected areas of my life.  For example, finding new interests, fixing my bike, contact with family and old friends, taking better care of myself, and more in depth research into the niggles which have been bothering me for years.

The I Just Don’t Feel Like It scenario I’ve recognised when working with clients too, as I work partially in the fitness industry, and it’s here people want to be pushed and pushed to achieve and do more.  You name it, it’s on the table, better buns, abs, biceps, smaller waist..  I don’t consider my teaching as fitness per se, but Pilates and yoga are both tied up in it in our society, and I’ve been constantly doubting if I push my clients enough, especially in group classes..  My thinking is, if you have the energy there to pay attention and apply yourself to a situation, THEN You’ll do the work, if you don’t, then maybe take the time to rest?  Give your best to a situation you feel like applying yourself to, though this might be hardcore napping or having tea with friends. I’d suggest, anything that isn’t wasting energy by staring into a screen..  Work with good form, not in a half assed kinda gonna do something..  In my opinion, that’s just time wasting.

Why can’t we do our best and when we need to, take a rest so we can evaluate if we need to keep going or, change track?  Why do we have to run ourselves into the ground and rely on caffeine, supplements and other people to get us going?  Why can’t we tune into our innate intelligence and realise what it is that we do have energy for?

The more we leave ourselves to NOT do the things we don’t feel like, the more we come to understand WHAT it is that we do feel like doing.  When you keep doing things because you think you ‘should’, they act as distractions from the things which may otherwise ignite our enthusiasm to be proactive and get out into the world; however that looks for each individual.   It might feel a bit messy at first, but trust yourself, that if you don’t feel like doing something or going somewhere, then there’s another part of life waiting for you to discover it..  Of course, this isn’t going to work for everyone, I’m still investigating what it is when people are so called ‘Lazy’, as I’ve never been considered as lazy, to me it seems like hardcore procrastination; perhaps fear based, but that’s a whole other topic..

I’d love to hear any comments…

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Fighting Monkey (Copenhagen Workshop 2016)

For 4 days I’d had my mind blown
Head fuck extraordinaire..  Fighting Monkey Copenhagen 2016, Monkey Mind doesn’t stand a chance..

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Jozef and Linda share about moving in a way which is not only palatable but accessible and really freaking exiting.  Moving with your whole organism, opening up or enhancing ones ability to respond to oncoming challenge, moving harmoniously within your natural organism and within your environment. Assertive yet open encouragement to break out of preconditioned patterns and models, and providing the space to entice every cell of your being to work at it’s best. To keep moving, using the constant current of life and your universal vibration in order to respond to unknown variables. Coming out of the prefrontal cortex, the analysis part of your mind, and coming into the space of infinite potential; thus allowing a maximal harmonious play with your environment, whatever that may be..

For me, being a mover for a lot less time than most of those who were also attending the workshop, I found it highly demanding but very accommodating and encouraging to allow my mammal organism to move more freely and more ease fully than ever before, with a consciousness beyond the basic mind control, tapping in ever deeper to ones central channel. The principles they use are delivered in a manner such that I believe anyone can gain, whatever their background; however to have a good awareness of ones mechanics beforehand is a must to enable safe and optimal participation.

I trained intensely before this workshop, mainly working on strength and balance; this was a wise impulse for me to follow as you need to have at least a certain amount of balanced perception of strength and flexibility in order to progress through the games architecture offered. My journey with movement clearly started when I was created in the womb, but due to my path in life, movement took a sideline for schooling, university and the inevitable working at a desk for several years; following the path I assumed to be the one I needed to follow..  No matter what your background, if you’re reading this, you have a body (however that has manifested it’s unique and wonderful self) and to have a body means you NEED to move it.  Use it, or lose it.. 😉

Having a few year experience with martial arts (kick boxing mainly) and more recently with Pilates and yoga put me in good stead to keep up, awareness and knowledge of biomechanics has also been fundamental in allowing me to move in way which has reduced the stress on my body and thus increase its desired output. As when you move with poor form, this not only stresses your joints but also your nervous, energetic, emotional, digestive and other biological systems; don’t get me wrong, any movement is better than no movement but let me just drop in the word ‘optimal’ to marinade on one’s brain..  Once an awareness about basic mechanics has been embodied these proposers of fighting monkeys blow all of that out of the water. When I work with people who don’t move enough or don’t have enough awareness of their body and I can see why my other teachers have placed such strong emphasis on ‘correct’ movement; I.e. Offering movement tasks to people which can help them to stabilise and open up joints in a safe manner. This is not the only way. The joints and structures need to be allowed to move in such a way which challenges them, tests them, not only supporting them.  I can see from a general teaching stance how these techniques of basic linear alignment can help in general classes with people who aren’t so interested in movement per se and perhaps, need to first build up their basics and manage general and obvious pathologies; but I’m very happy to redefine, rebuild and reimagine what these blessed bodies can do..

Linda’s smooth and elegant yet super strong movements inspire the sense of grace and ease with the vibration of each and every one of your cells.  Jozef’s apparent background with martial arts often brings in the element of fighting to the games he shared, or I guess this could be put as, the need to respond to irregular happenings in the environment, as it’s generally not the case that our every step and every interaction will only be challenging us in a uniformed way. Therefore our body requires the neural, biochemical and physical ability to adapt constantly. How do we do that if we have only ever moved in a regular fashion?

All weekend, and in the weeks leading up to this I’ve felt energised, waking up early, until my head has been hitting the pillow (sometimes) being alive.  Now I feel I could sleep for the next month, or two..  So much demand on the systems of my organism, finally catching up with me.  But I wouldn’t change this for the world. I can feel those hard to reach areas are now pulsating with life, even if my muscles are intensely aching and my head is heavy.

The most nourishing part for my spine from the games of the fighting monkey was working a lot with moving my head with the balls.  I’ve discovered or reinforced in my brain where it is I have been having less than complete systems of movement, for me.  I can see, even though I live in a city I need not be holding myself in this bracket and boundaries anymore- mindset is of great importance. Confidence in movement is of great importance too.  I’ll admit, I’ve been quite scared of moving in certain ways as the body I have is an amazing tool for learning; the amount of eccentricities it’s shown me to work through can be pretty tiring but it’s been so refreshing to smash the shit out of what I thought it could do and open up my imagination more to what it’s built to do.

Thanks, respect and big up to Jozef and Linda x

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What I’ve learnt on a Plant Dieta

dieta

Before I embarked on this adventure to diet with a plant, i.e. the drinking of a medicine produced by boiling its bark (or other part of the plant/tree depending on the medicine prescribed for you); I had no idea what I was getting myself in for.

I knew there would be plant ceremonies with the native Ayahuasca on this 2 week retreat, and I knew maybe I’d be eating a clean diet for a while but, I had no idea what I would be getting as a part of the ‘plant-dieta’..

Why do a plant diet/dieta?

When you diet with a plant (also known as a master plant) you are taking on said master plant as a spirit ally, during the plant dieta/diet, you drink a certain amount of the medicine made from this plant (usually a brew from boiled bark or roots, or sometimes it’s put into alcohol) for a set number of days that you have, or that your shaman deems appropriate for you.  In this time, as the plant begins to grow, it also starts healing you; don’t worry, it’s not like you’re going to be taken oven and have a tree growing out of your butt, but rather growing with you energetically and spiritually.

Each plant has different healing properties, they are prescribed based on where you are in life and perhaps what kind of healing you require.  For me, I dieted with a grand tree from the Amazon called Chuchuwasha; I’ve read many different things on it since coming back to the UK but the best correlation I could get between the internet and the wonderful man who was making these medicines out in Peru was that it:

Improves energy (and yes it certainly has for me!  I’ve not felt so good in at least 10 years!), helps decision making and finding ones centre.  Heals scars, heals hernias, colds, burns and it’s used to heal arthritis or rheumatism too.

What does it entail?

As I mentioned before, you need to drink the medicine of this plant for an amount of time (I was in dieta for 12 days with it), at given amounts and times of the day.  For me, this was 1/3 of a small glass 3 times a day, 30 minutes before each meal.  I won’t lie, it tasted foul.  It sometimes also had big gloopy bits, which I tried to drink, but one bit was bigger than my mouth so I had to use it as a medicine for the wildlife outside my tambo (traditional jungle sleeping hut). *gag* gracias medicina *gag*

chuchuDifferent shamans will have different regimes, ours was pretty strict, during dieta when drinking our master plants, we were only permitted to eat basic carbs like rice, quinoa, potatoes and oats, no salt, no sugar, no fruit, no dairy and no condiments or spices.  Also allowed were vegetables, salad (but no onions, tomatoes or avocados) and the occasional small, bony river fish; but no oils, no nuts, no seeds, no meat and no legumes.  This is so that the plant you’re cultivating to be your ally doesn’t get disturbed, so it has the best chance to grown within your energy and stay with you for life.

And seeing as spices are out, of course, no alcohol, no chemical products (not even to wash clothes unless it’s done for you – thank you to the beautiful women taking care of me at the centre), no perfumes, no toothpaste, no shampoo, the odd not too strong essential oil is ok, in moderation.  Different master plants also have their different traits and attributes, some are strong and righteous and therefore require you to be very strict with your diet and post-diet; some are more jealous and may cause adverse effects if you wear the fragrance of other plants too much from soaps or other products.  Also, no sex, no touching or hugging each other and no stimulation from playing music (unless with your own instrument), no TV, there was no wifi to offer temptation luckily, no reading unnecessary materials and to include plenty of meditation, writing and reflective time; but no masturbation either!  If you smoke, you can buy pure tobacco in Peru, or mapachos, which are used in ceremony for protection and cleansing, but no normal tobacco or cigarettes, leave out the chemicals..

It’s important to adhere to how you’ve been advised as not only can it damage the diet and your bond with your plant but it can make you feel really unwell and some say can fire back at your shaman and make them unwell too.  The no touching part and no TV etc is because during dieta you are extremely sensitive and open; you are open to take on the energy of others, which more than likely will not serve you; and of course, you may be dieting with a more jealous master plant!  Nature is the best place to be.  There was minimal electricity at the centre, only a small amount of solar power which I occasionally used to charge my phone to know the time relative to when was dinner/medicine time or upon waking during the night to know how long it’d be until sunrise!

At this centre I also mentioned the work with ayahuasca, wow, this kind of work is never compulsory but I’ve found it deeply profound in helping me to realise or remember several things about who I really am, what I want out of life and even how I can go about changes in myself to align more with the greater good.  The ceremonies are the part where you recieve a shed load of information, remove a few layers of dirt from your internal mirror and re-calibrate where you’re at in life, major reset and healing time.

Thankfully at the retreat centre, everything to do with food is done for you, the expert chefs/muma/sister feed you abundantly on the foods you can eat and ensure you don’t get confused with the food which may be being eaten by non-dieting people who visit the centre; I wish I had planned in to do my post-dieta there too.

What I’ve learnt on a plant dieta?

What I’ve learn on this plant dieta, combined with the interspersed ayahuasca ceremonies (not having them every day is perfect, they require a lot of energy and thus also some proper restoration time after), is about how I received so much energy, so much clarity, healing, and discernment. I had been working with low energy levels for going on 10 years now, major problems with my intestines and digestion and large amounts of anxiety; I feel the power and the spirit of this tree is now a part of me, I feel stronger and more able to take on the world again; even from the position of living in the opportunity mecca of London.

Not only that, but I also reconnected to myself and nature.  The environmental settings are key.  By the second day a big part of me wanted tobobbinsana leave, I was sh*t scared of the hairy caterpillar farm which was a part of my tambo, the spiders who showed up in my mosquito net and all the noises of things I’d never met before.  Not knowing if I would get bitten by something dangerous or, end up with ants in my pants and more than just mosquito bites on my ass, arms and ankles..  Being reassured that there was nothing lethal around me I began to get used to the ants, I stopped trying to kill all the creepy crawlies and instead got to know them, saw them simply moving about their business and neither of us needing to hurt the other.  This is a BIG and ongoing lesson for me..

Combined with the ayahuasca ceremonies I managed to shed a lot of accumulated energies which weren’t mine, and were just weighing me down.  I can now see a lot bigger perspective and a lot more clearly about where I end and another begins, and where we are all actually inseparable.

What now?

So now, I am during my 3rd week post-dieta which means I still have another 10-20 days of restrictive diet to really allow chuchuwasha to settle in my system and also not to shock my system with too many strong foods or products.  I’ve noticed if I do accidentally disturb the diet (having cold water if you’d believe it) or am exposed to the London commute too intensely, that I really feel it.  It’s difficult integrating into ‘normality’, but to be honest, I don’t want to get back to what I previously felt was normal.  We overfill our bodies with refined sugar and weird fats derived and synthesised from all sorts of insanity, repress emotions, and agree to be a part of a jumble of people exuding their disdain for life – no more.  I have no desire to be mindlessly drunk or to suppress any part of me.  The main thing I miss is sex and chocolate (I’m talking 100% organic, farm assured cacao baby), 13 days and counting until those are back in my life.

Interested?

I’m open for questions if anyone else considers on embarking on this incredible, life changing journey.  NOTE: Blog update – it’s taken my some time to process and despite the amazing dieta and healing with beautiful fellow journeyers on this retreat; I renounce my recommendation of this particular centre.  It’s transpired a misplacement of power has occurred, on several occasions.  Unfortunately, many western women (especially blonde) have been pray to shaman who have more ‘power’ then they can handle – unless male, or going in a couple, please seek yourself a FEMALE shaman.  I know an amazing couple who work with medicine who have helped manage this situation with love and understanding, there are always people you can trust, but be sure not to put yourself in a vulnerable space..

Much love, thanks for reading

x

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Range Of Motion, Different for Everyone

Range of Motion

All along our physical journey (regardless of yoga interactions) there are people who seem stronger, more flexible and all round more able.

I see my ego be sparked by this still daily, but I’m not so much letting this influence me.  Yes, I still am on my own path of continuous development but no, I no longer look at others, or their range of motion, as a bench mark of where I need to be.  Similarly, when peers and students alike say ‘I’d love to be able to do that’  it’s not always appropriate to deliver this message.

I thought when I started yoga, especially getting into teaching, that one day my spine would straighten out and I’d be able to continue to lengthen my adho mukha (down dog) and paschimottonasana (deep forward bend).  But to be honest; my body doesn’t seem to want to go that way and I’ve given up trying to force those shapes on my already super mobile and somewhat asymmetrical self.

Another truth, which appears to be held in many different camps of thought, is that some bodies are born more mobile, with a larger range of motion than others.

Whereas some bodies are so mobile it can cause pain and injuries so much more easily; but it also means they ‘get into’ those shapes we all look at with awe.  Generally also (clearly not for everyone), a lot of yoga, dance and gymnastics tend to have this innate mobility within their joints and muscles – hence the propensity for more mobile people to work in careers which work with this innate ‘ability’.  The different camps of thought around hypermobility/hyperlax joints is too deep to get into here, but basically, some people ignore it, some people don’t know about it, and some people seem to suffer tremendously from it.  For me, I know my joints have a larger than ‘normal’ range of motion which has caused me issues in the past.  But instead of focusing on the bits which don’t feel so good, and getting anxious that it’s too much, I focus on alignment, spirals and loops within my body to help me to make the most out of physical movement practices.  I also work a lot with Pilates.

Thus, basically, some people bend more than others.  This need not be a reason to quit your journey into physical practice but just to add as a back note when watching teachers, peers or others on their YouTube channel, that their Range Of Motion may be pre-set different to yours.  And, If you are naturally more flexible, finding your edges maybe harder than for stiffer bodies so be mindful not to push your already flexible body into shapes it may regret upon recoiling.

Let your ego wrap around these words and have a break from competing (get into Your yoga!).  Not looking to judge others who might bend deeper, or not, but to let yourself off the hook of pushing too much into those shapes that are made by those who do.  Find your edge with patience and observation, and feel into how much you’re ready to move beyond it, in THIS moment.  See, feel and honor every step of your journey, enjoy your challenges, not challenging your differences compared to another.

Love and patience shared to all who continue to learn, for by continuing to learn we continue to grow in LIFE and LOVE.

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Meditation in Daily Life – Calming the mind

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There are many types and styles of meditation all of which are practiced for a variety of reasons.  These reasons span from simply finding a calm space in a hectic world to actually changing ones view of how one perceives the world.  Whatever your motivation or reason to meditate then hopefully you will find some useful information and guidance within the following series entitled Meditation in Daily Life.

Meditation & Calming the mind

Whether you are a complete beginner to meditation or an experienced Buddhist practitioner the first goal in meditation is to calm the mind.  There are several techniques to help with this although by far the most common way is to have something to concentrate the mind on, like a point of reference or a focus point.  Whilst this may sound a little contradictory when you say calming the mind by focusing on something, it may help to understand that as well as calming the mind, when meditating we also need to be fully aware and consciously working with our mind otherwise we may as well just be asleep.

Meditating on the breath is one of the most popular methods and especially easy for beginners to practice.  This involves focusing on the breath, not forcing the breath but just being aware and conscious of our breath; ideally using the stomach to control your breathing and inhaling and exhaling through the nose.  Perhaps just try this for a minute before you move to the next paragraph and see how it feels.

Before talking in more depth about meditation practice, maybe it would be helpful to explain how having this focus helps to calm the mind.  We all have distracting thoughts to contend with whilst meditating, no matter how much meditation experience one has.  The difference is that the more you meditate the less the thoughts distract you.

To analyse thoughts is sometimes referred to as contemplation and whilst this can be positive in some situations, it is not particularly beneficial for calming the mind.  Neither, on the other hand, should one try and block these thoughts as this will just dull the mind and in the end make you feel quite tired.  What we do when a thought pops into our mind when we are meditating is simply acknowledge the thought but then let it go without judging or focusing on it; give it the least amount of energy possible.  Then we return to our focus, in this case our breath.  Without something to return our focus to it would be difficult to steady and calm our mind as it would soon start to follow its own picture show and before long we would be off on a daydream.

There are many scientifically proved benefits from meditating and calming the mind that we start to experience as part of our daily lives:  It is known to increase our ability to focus and concentrate, increase our self awareness, develops a real sense of well being and calmness and if this is not enough, extensive research claims meditation leads to an increase in happiness!!

The next article in this series talks about practical aspects of meditation such as where and when to meditate along with useful tips to help motivate you to get your bum on the cushion 🙂

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Less Like Hard Work

flowers

I’ve been working with an intention for the last 3 weeks to not work so hard.  I know I know!  My work is on a freelance basis, therefore one needs to work really hard to make it happen (it’s ok mum, I’m doing great with work)..  Getting places on time.  Being in a committed relationship, this too requires work, and, personal development plays a big part in my life, always working hard to be the best I can be.  Friendships require effort and attention, and so does physical yoga and Pilates practice, Meditation and studying a nutritionist diploma.  Life can be hard work!

Any of that sound familiar?!

So here’s where things have started to shift for me and how not working so hard has been the ultimate blessing for my productivity and creativity..  I regularly go for 1:1 sessions with the wonderful Kate Ellis (look her up for amazingness in and around deep yoga journeying), and one thing she observed, which I now feel I observe in many around me, is the drive to work really hard!  To be strong and make things happen!

I grew up with the mantra to work hard for what I wanted, be that physical achievements, work, studies or relationships.  Reflecting, I’ve achieved really well from my degree, several decent jobs and many other qualifications now under my belt; I’ve been married for over 2 years and I feel I have a beautiful set of friends I love and appreciate.  I worked F-ing hard to get to where I am now, sitting in my yoga dojo in my warm and lovely home; and I’m grateful for all my hard work and that of those around me to help me get to here.  However, I’m now learning, there is a different way…

Downfalls of working excessively hard: Fatigue, tiredness, stress (leading to development of Crohn’s disease for me), control issues, sore and tight muscles and generally an absence of the lightness in life.

It doesn’t have to be this way..

So, this last 3 weeks experiment of not working so hard have been some of the hardest 3 weeks of my life to date!  Learning to let go, properly let go of things, express what bothers me (rather than swallow it and tell myself I need to work harder to avoid certain feelings) be open to opportunities but stop trying to make so much work and happen all at once; being able to trust that I do have enough work, more is coming to me and that I teach awesome classes and am a great friend and wife without having to spend so much energy.  Among the challenge and the bouts of major anxiety I can finally feel not working so hard working for me..  Life is unfolding in a much more natural way and my own practice and teaching have just spun off to a whole new level of awareness and spaciousness; holding a space rather than trying to fill it with the best solutions I could find.  Friends and relationships will stay if they’re meant to be, meeting up with someone doesn’t need to be a chour but an easy meeting when and where paths are crossing and vibrations resonate.

Does any of this echo for you?  Are you exhausted with life?  Try taking a step back and let it come to you.  Trust me, as a freelancer getting over an unhealthy relationship with money and self worth, it’s hard not chasing every lead; but relaxing, trusting and staying more open and focused to the now, has invited in more work and better clients than I could have found marching the streets of London for 10 years, wearing a body poster.  Lol, funny but unnecessary image.

Watch, Listen and Learn from yourself.  Stop forcing that yoga posture, stop forcing yourself to perform like a circus monkey.  Be full present in Each and Every Moment.  Honor your softer side in balance and harmony with your harder edge..

With love xxx

P.s. I don’t mean stop getting out of bed, turning up for work or calling your friends!  Apply effort that feels nourishing.  Be kind to you.

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Swadhisthana Chakra

Svadhisthanaa

Stepping up from our roots at Mooladhara Chakra to..

Swadhisthana chakra is translated as the ‘self dwelling place’ chakra, it’s located between the naval and the genitals.  It’s main aspect is sweetness, the sweetness of love and life, flowing with our emotions; thus is also has a connection to the water element.  The parts of the body it  associates with it are the genitals, womb, bladder, circulation, tears, and kidneys (i.e. the more wet, or watery parts of us).

The purpose of development at this chakra is to assist our letting go and flowing with the movement of life; accepting what it.  Also, it is about our connection with ourselves and others, at times ‘reclaiming our right to feel'(1) our needs, desires, pleasure and emotions.

Some of the characteristics displayed if one is balanced in this chakra are:

  • Ability to change
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Has healthy boundaries
  • Graceful movement
  • Ability to experience pleasure

If one is working with issues in this chakra they may either have excessive of deficient energy, or both, and thus will potentially display:

Excessive energy

  • Sexual acting out or addiction and seductive manipulation
  • Ruled by their emotions (mood swings, drama queen, hysterical)
  • Poor boundaries, invade other’s boundaries
  • Oversensitive and/or emotional dependency

Deficient energy

  • Rigidity and frigidity in body and sex
  • Lack of desire, passion or excitement and denial of pleasures
  • Poor social skills
  • Excessive boundaries

Working with the swadhisthana  chakra means we look at ways we can assist our flow and connection within our bodies, emotions and relationships.  Helping to reclaim our right to feel, this chakra is first established between 6 months and 2 years of age.

 ..Next, we’ve got fire in our belly with, Manipura Chakra..

References

(1) Eastern Body Western Mind, Anodea Judith (available at the Book Depository with free delivery)

(2) The Subtle Body: An encyclopedia of Your Energetic Anatomy, Cyndi Dale (available at the Book Depository with free delivery

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The Profit on Marriage – Kahlil Gibran

marriagelove

Love one another, but make not a bond of love:

Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup, but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread, but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each of you be alone,
Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not too near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

If you’re familiar with this poem then you’ll see the first paragraph has been omitted.  This is as my mother wrote it to me and my husband on our wedding day.  I feel the first paragraph takes a bit more to grasp and perhaps a bit too spiritual for some, but here it is below as an ode to the writer to appreciate it in full

🙂

You were born together, and together you shall be forever more.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.

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Spring Awakening

spring awaken

Finally March is nearly here!  We’ve made it through the coldest times!! Now to ditch the excess eating and hibernation habits.

The time is here to reawaken the spring in your step and put your best intentions forwards and into action.

What are you hoping to achieve this year?

Unless you’ve been in a cave you’re probably aware that we’re all undergoing a massive shift right now; from living in the head into the heart, the left side of the brain easing up to the right.  Many people and places are having great shake ups to help dispel the pain and oppression we’re coming out through now.  From Fukushima to Kiev, Venezuela to Iraq; Indonesia to Syria, Snowden to Assange; London to Berlin; the dolphins, the rain forests and needless frackin’..

Now is the time we need to consult with our real selves, our nature deep down, so we can be aware of the truth of our business and can get on with doing the things which truly matter to us..

The best and only place we can start is with ourselves – Yoga, Tai Chi, Meditation (however you like to find your head space)  all help to tune into our truths; which can then take us closer to our real futures and each other.  Feel the Love in Life.

 

Namaste, have a sparkly day 🙂

xx

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Plant Medicines: Ayahuasca

plant medicine a

The ayahuasca vine comes from the Amazon and is a plant medicine used alongside a shamanic ceremony to help people see past and let go of their issues.  It can be deeply powerful and purgative and if it’s something you’re open to, it can show you life in a whole different way.  Enabling an individual to feel a part of the whole, and less dependent on the programming and ‘shoulds’ of other people, which often get in the way of realising your true self.

Have you ever had the feeling you don’t belong where you are but you don’t know why?  Or feeling that everyone around you is mad, but you can’t put your finger on it?  For me, ‘The mother’, i.e. Mother Ayahuasca which is the term used to describe the presence (however she is felt) helped me to see past the labels and bad feeling I accumulated whilst I was growing up.  She helped me to feel into my own greatness, get a little closer to understanding my main intention in life, and to feel more OK about being me.

I’ve met the ‘mother’ on 4 occasions, and each time I’ve not gone into it with any great expectations, but the simple intention of learning to let go of what hurts me (as I felt letting go of painful things was my biggest issue); and I’ve greatly appreciated each journey.  That’s not to say it’s for everyone, I’ve been around others who have been disappointed, but then I don’t know what they went in expecting from it.  Expect no great epiphany but have in mind what you want to work with, and I’m quite sure that’s enough.  That along with the detox prior to and following the ceremony (mainly just a chemical and animal products detox which was luckily in line for my lifestyle already); this is to make sure that the medicine has optimal effects, and also to minimise the need for physical purging during ceremony.

Many purge (vomit, cry or need the loo quickly) but not everyone, it really is a personal journey; my first nights purge was mainly laughter, which was a nice surprise after hearing many others around me retching into their buckets.  Having more fun in life is one thing I’ve been working with since.  I was rolling around on my bed, stretching into my body and feeling a freedom I’d never quite realised before.  I feel it’s really helped me to be more confident in my body and my expression of it, in public or private spaces.  But then again, being physical and getting into the body is something really inherent to me, thus this experience isn’t the same for most other people I spoke to; all of my nights have been different.  The second night was about universal energy for me, and the availability of it at our finger tips; I think this, combined with a Reiki healing during the ceremony, is what showed me my path to this amazing and inspiring ancient tradition.

The other 2 nights were more about realisations on my placing in the world, how I could be of service to others, and what I could do more or less of to make my own integration smoother.  A vow of silence is what I realised in my last session; which I considered to be impossible but profound; as if one keeps getting misunderstood (as I felt), then maybe saying nothing is better?.  This later transpired during my Reiki and Seichem training to be silent and to listen, really listening deep to myself and to others; not trying to change things but allowing them to be.  Wow – how often do people allow us just to be with our words without trying to project their own opinions?  Thank you to the mother and to my teacher for showing me this powerful gift towards being a better listener.

Before I went to each ceremony I was in a pretty depressed and disparaged state.  After each ceremony I felt uplifted by what I saw and felt, from both the medicine and the people who were with me, but that only lasted until I got home.  The REAL work from this kind of medicine always happens after ceremony.   The medicine shows you where to go, but you need to put this into practice in your life.  It’s not a quick fix you can* use every week or month to reset a little; remember, it is a medicine; not for continual use.  Moderation 😉

Thus, you may get it, you may not.  If you’re curious to hear more there are lots of videos on YouTube with some other great insights and perspectives.  This kind of plant medicine is for those who are stuck and desire change, but those who aren’t afraid to face their daemons.  I saw a couple of guys have a really hard time during their journey, but both came out of it grateful for the release.  IF you do decide to seek it out and give it a try, then I’m sure the path to a shaman will open up for you.  Remember, don’t push, flow into it, and use the following points of advice to ensure your own safety, as this potentially leaves you VERY vulnerable for a few hours.  Thus, you need to be in a honest and caring space, with a lot of trust and love.

  1. Know your shaman, move through a personal recommendation (especially if going to the Amazon  as being from Europe it may be a culture, spiritual and psychological head f*** otherwise)
  2. Do the detox, it’s there for a reason
  3. Feel comfortable in the space you join for the ceremony, it’s always OK to change your mind
  4. Ensure it is as a part of a shamanistic ceremony, not just recreational (I know someone who did and it put them off for life)
  5. Set an intention and drop expectations
  6. The real journey starts AFTER the ceremony

To finish, here’s a journalist and writer who made a TED talk about it (not sure if it’s still banned but the link was working when I made this blog), another point of view.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y0c5nIvJH7w

 

Love xx

 

*well clearly you can use it more often but my personal experience is give it time.  Trust in yourself and your abilities to move forwards.