You know those times when you feel yourself welling up? But, you’re brave and strong; perhaps you’re in public, so you hold back the tears. You think about something else or tell yourself “it doesn’t matter” or “Not again, I thought I’d be over that by now”, or “cry baby, suck it up!”; and so it goes on… You’re attempting to not cry a river!
Whenever you stop yourself from crying; psychologically, emotionally, and physiologically you’re further damning, i.e. building bigger and higher that dam, which blocks you from having to feel those emotions. So, you stop yourself crying and you’re building that wall up a few bricks more, every time you need to hold back those floods. Every time you don’t allow the flow/motion of your energy and to let yourself feel, there’s that little bit more dissociation from what’s behind your pain, as well as what elates you.
Overwhelmed?
When a person is overwhelmed, it can feel like it will overwhelm all of the people and the structures downstream. Depending on the setting and qualities of those people, it may do. Or it may be that you are overwhelmed and need to put it somewhere outside of yourself. Instead of bottling it up, look for a ‘safe’ space, and reliable, flexibly minded people, A process-oriented/relational therapist is the BEST investment I’ve ever made, ever – but I realise that this may not be within everyone’s means. Thus, we can unload this eventual mounting energy front, in a way that we and those close to us can tolerate downstream. Cry a river in a safe space. Everyone has their challenges, but sometimes by communicating our challenges, it can let those we love that little bit closer.
Weak?
But does crying make you weak? There is nothing further from the truth. To let oneself cry a river is powerful, and hard. Being distracted by Netflix, weed, parties, South Park, shopping, Facebook, or [insert other external focus here] is easy. To sit and dig deep; to bring up the deepest pains takes much strength and courage.
All those hangups, those built-up walls, all the old repressive sayings of “men don’t cry.. ..suck it up.. ..move on!.. ..crying makes you weak.. ..be brave, don’t cry.. ..stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.. ..dry your tears..”; they’re all blocking your flow.
Blocked Flow?
If your flow is blocked; if you don’t allow your tears and keep building your walls, then you can never get truly through to you. You’ll keep getting in your way. Let your tears show you what you need to process, what keeps getting in your way.
If you don’t have a good therapist, or people around you who can help, you’ve got yourself. You’ve got your gauge of what makes you upset, go into that. Write about it, make some art, feel it, and remember, this too shall pass. Draw, write, or cry a river into your natural flow.
LOVE
