Category: Love & Life

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New Year Same Old BS

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It’s been quite refreshing to see different public figures NOT talking about setting new years resolutions, but perhaps I’ve managed to miss it through my lack of engagement with the mainstream media..

A friend asked me this week what super intention I had set for the coming year (yes we use the ‘intentions’ terminology rather than resolution, as to claim not to do something for a year, I’ve learnt, is a pretty lame idea for me, tell me I can’t and I’ll probably have to do it just to break the rules).  My response to this is to continue with the work I started 6 months ago, back in the June/July new moon, it’s all about me.  I’d set the intention after my marriage-rebound relationship break up, as I’d realised my past error of never putting my needs first, and thankfully 6 months on I’m reaping the benefits of having a me centric life.  Yes, there is someone I love and care for deeply in my life (as well as of course my family, friends, clients etc) but I’ll still never change this intention for the world.

My intention is to be the best of me, and to help those close to me to do the same.  EmPower.

Personally, I don’t see the point in trying to stop yourself from doing something ‘bad’ for you, as there is psychology around why we choose to do ‘bad’ things to ourselves or others, and similar to the point I made in my other blog post; if you’re hurting, you’re not going to be good to anyone else, let alone yourself.  I’ve quit smoking by seeing that it hurts me, it hurts my amazing body and these days, I’d rather nourish it than damage it.  It CAN be and IS that simple.  I decided to stop letting people take advantage of me and to express and request my worth, letting my world be all about me and let’s say I’ve never had better relationships with others now too.

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Heart Listening Meditation

This Heart Listening Meditation can help you to release fears and anxiety, tune into your true self and express the best of you.  Whatever the struggle, these past few years have had the propensity to make or break many of us.  Many have left this Earth, left relationships, ‘stable’ careers, and homes; many changes still seem to be happening too..

Physically and physiologically I’m in better shape than possibly ever before; psychologically and emotionally possibly also too but, recently I’ve noticed the heavy feeling in my heart.  Perhaps this is from before but I wasn’t quiet enough to listen to it, or perhaps it’s more recent that my heart is feeling pained as I only came to notice it when sitting down for a few minutes self-healing before leaving to teach.

Your physical heart resides in the left hand side of your chest, the emotional or energetic centre in more in the middle of the chest at the bottom of the sternum (breast bone).  The left side is side to relate to the right side of our brains, which is said to be related to our more feminine, quiet, and intuitive qualities; for me, this left side has generally been a bit more disturbed on comparison to the right.

Once I had settled into my seat, it was almost like a firework of realisation went off in my mind!..  When did I last truly listen to my heart?!.  I realised I still was in need for some deeper introspection to move in beyond the pull of thoughts, judgement and the mind.. The mind is very smart, I thought I was feeling, but  this is different to actually feeling, listening, sensing and being aware of the more subtle layers..

The heart meditation my heart shared with me is too good and too easy not to share.

Sit, lay down, or however you can be comfortable and about 80% relaxed, so there is still an edge of alertness present.  Lightly place your hand on your heart (just above left boob or nipple is probably the easiest place to sense it, and see if you can follow your heart beat..

If you can’t at first it’s important to breathe and be patient, these things can take time..

Simply stay with that and send the intention of love from your hand(s) to your heart.

See if you can tune into the connected nature of it all through your physical body.  If that evolves to more subtle systems then allow whatever comes. If you wind up thinking then notice your thoughts, if it’s a story about hurt, love, pain, fun or anything else then notice it, and come back to listening to your heart beat. If anything keeps pulling at your attention then explore it at will, or simply write it down to make a note, but be conscious you’ve distracted from the listening.  For how long you want to do this is up to you.  Start with 5 minutes is my suggestion.  Try it and let me know how you get on!

Photo Credit Miguel Echievera

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New Moon in Leo

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As you may know, this New Moon in Leo (August 2nd) is the perfect time to set intentions.  The sign of Leo representing in essence, the golden child, the shining individual whom isn’t afraid to put him or her self first.  Potentially leading into being overly self-centred, but the balance of that being a self-empowered and creative individual.

Being overly selfish could be a sign that some fundamental needs aren’t being met through self-empowerment, and therefore we can feel a struggle to survive or thrive and thus to try and compensate with greed.  Also, a sense of lacking, low energy and, anger when other people don’t behave towards us as we would prefer; can all indicate a deficiency in self-looking after and self-response-ability.  Last lunar month seemed to start this rebalancing of looking after myself, properly, and I witnessed it in several others whom were crossing my path too.

This month, with the New Moon in Leo we have an energetic driver into finding and expressing our own true creative flare.  That’s not to say it’s to the disadvantage of others, as if we can be sure we’ve been nourishing and taking good care of ourselves then, we can handle it if someone does need to tell us we’ve stood on their toes, without anyone having to get upset and angry; and vice versa.  It’s a fantastic time to find balance in allowing ourselves to have some fun and make some space for ourselves, whilst in harmony and communication with those around us.

Allow yourself to take whatever space you need for you, 2016 has been massive in clearing spaces, jobs, relationships, and other out of alignment things which are out of alignment for where your journey is heading.  See what comes to heart and mind for you to focus on this month, do you need any help to create space for yourself and your adventure?  I’ve also been sensing a massive pull to look at our ancestry for some more information in healing old wounds which may have been carried down the familial lines.  Quite often what needs space and recreating is the belief systems passed down the generations, perhaps unknowingly imprisoning families for generations into patterns we now have the energy to change and recreate into something we choose, and which can serve us in these new times.

Liberate your inner lion or lioness.  Grrrrrrr 😉  Create the space and the life you deserve..

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Rebalancing of the Feminine and Masculine

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I’ve been feeling waves of femininity hitting me over the past few years, wanting to express this softer side of self; not quite sure how but being drawn to beings who are more feminine in themselves seems to have been a part of the pattern.  Feeling this feminine energy much beyond myself, like a pull from the universe; sensing a deep connection with an overtone of sadness for all the pain endured by women and mothers who have been here before me, and who are here even now.  Overwhelmingly so at times..  From the atrocious rape crimes which have gone on through war, and for some, all their lives; to the mothers struggling and fighting, being toughened, and hardening themselves in order to survive for themselves and their children this male dominated world.  It was just last October, during my Ayahuasca retreat that I connected with, and hopefully helped to release some of, the hardship and pain I felt was within my family line; coming from a string of very strong women, I was sensing their strength along with their sorrows (and of course joys entwined in there too), their strength required to live in this male world, resulting in them sacrificing a certain part of themselves, in order to survive..

The fighting of the suffragists and the suffragettes, being force fed by tubes during hunger strikes protesting for women’s rights to have a vote, such a flippant thing even I now take for granted at times.  The suppression of women by and in religion, only male priests, women being seen and not heard; the objectification of women to sell pointless products and insisting that they remove all their body hair, cellulite and blemishes, like it’s a shameful thing to be born or wake out of bed a certain way (I still shave, this isn’t over for me, but it’s interesting if you wanna dig into where it first became normal for the process of hair removal in the West at least).. Projecting the idolisation of the size zero alongside having large breast, which alone maybe natural for a select few, but together will very rarely be achieved without surgery or self-harming in some sense (I see this in the male world too now but that’s a whole other blog about the media and body image..)..

In this auspicious time, we’re coming out of a patriarchal, ego driven curve in the cycle of life; and coming into a space where patriarchy and matriarchy are again finding balance, the inclusion of the feminine, intuitive, softer side of life..  It feels like a trip to be tuning into and hearing among many sources (from astrologers to other far out kind of influences which I appreciate it’s harder for some to relate to) about this shift, whilst relating to my own personal experiences, it totally blows me away..  Of course, our perceptions form our reality, but this femininity is something I never imagined, it was previously a void for me; having never expressed my femininity so fully in this life, I had no expectations of what feminine should look or feel like..  To aliken it to the spiritual awakening I think everyone in my circles, are talking about right now, moving from the realms of the bigger, better, faster, stronger, mind/ego place; into balancing this with intuition, and a one love compassionate connection (quote Bob Marley and many other amazing artists over the past 60 years or so..)..femin2

I have deep thanks for the experiences I’ve gained from having to be so hard, the many many challenges which I’ve needed to be strong in an unrelenting sense, in order to survive, literally at times fighting for life; dominated and yet nearly damned by my own masculine edge..  And now, to have this shift and realisation that- it’s ok to express this divine feminine energy in and through these physical and mental constructs known as, ‘Christine’ is surreal.

This doesn’t mean I’ll turn into a soft puddle of goo on the floor, or crying uncontrollably at puppies or never carrying a shopping bag again; quite the opposite.  To me, now this feeling of femininity has a strength and power all of it’s own.  Deeply strong, the bond within families and circles, being able to hold together that which is felt but yet can’t be touched; by no means an easy feat.

It also doesn’t mean that I want to throw away all my trousers and renounce men; being in touch with both sides of the male-female, yin-yang, dualities in life is important in how we are currently playing this game of life.  Without one there cannot be the other, and right now, we are still in the grips of this ego driven patriarchy.  Therefore, now, more than ever the time seems ripe to bring balance back to these 2 edges of the duality; being a woman, the best way I feel I can do that is to allow this balance to restore within myself; to not suppress my softness and let it blossom as I unfold myself and nurture myself to allow this soft space to grow alongside my well established harder edges..  No longer do I see it necessary to push away feminine aspects in my life, fighting and competing with other girls, always looking to be the strongest; finding a lot of jealously when I looked into those who were more comfortable with this side of themselves.  Instead, softening to my sisters, helping them rather than being scared of them.

Pachamama, mother Earth too is in a great need of love, we need to bring this softness and caring into all spheres of this large floating rock sphere we call home..  It’s only with feminine energy that it seems possible!  Sustain, protect and heal, it’s not about growth and trying to build forever structures on a finite plane..

Clearly, this rebalancing of the feminine and masculine requires a lot of conscious effort; just this morning moving through the London tube system this was soon expressed to me by firstly the 2 ‘hard’ looking guys playing out a TV show loudly on their device in the carriage.  My previous would have been to argue with them, but I sweetly let them know it was bothering me and they turned it off (femininity helping already!).  Next changing trains being hit by a barrage of hard women rushing for their next destination, pushing, barging, with hard glazed stares; feeling this sparking the same disconnected hard edge of energy in myself too..  In London and the cities especially, this fierce competition, women working at the front line of it, fighting tirelessly to get the same breaks and equality as their male counterparts; needing to play this man’s game to get acknowledged for even being human at times!..

We all have this duality within, masculine and feminine, it’s clear as there are many cross overs of hetro, bi and homo and metro sexual people; gender roles are becoming less and less defined based on the individual (thankfully for those who don’t fit into the standard boxes), men who stay at home with the kids, women who don’t want kids, same sex couples..  There’s space enough for everyone and the sooner we can allow the feminine* to be empowered as equal (in ALL of us, not just those who are physically female), the better the balance of harmony for ALL!

*The intuitive, soft, receptive, dark, wet, curvaceous, gentle and lunar side of life 😉

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Is it my condition? Or this world we live in?

Maybe I need to go live in a small village in Africa/India. I saw this video of Gabor Maté had been shared just after I wrote the poem below, trying to muddle through the highs and lows that seem to be concurrent with life.. Wasn’t going to post the poem because I don’t want to be judge or pitied by others (so I put it out to Facebook as a trial run, and got an appreciated response,  and thus wanted to share it here too).  I have a feeling it’s not just me and sometimes by sharing your daemons you can let others know you’re on the continuum together. No one is ‘normal’, it’s just our society likes boxes and unless you fit into a box then life can be pretty insane…

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I listen, I read, I write
I process, I allow and yet still I fight..
The words of elders resonate about my being, talking of a lighter path which I think I’m seeing..
Is it this human disposition to continuously forget? Or my reason for being, I did not meet yet?
All these offerings of advice, even when wound up all succinct and concise;
in one moment they liberate my soul, in the next, I’m lost and again feel vexed..
Where do I turn when it feels like all I can do is run?
Run away or run to? I’m not sure but I’m oh so confused.
Yet again, the pearls of wisdom flood in from outside. They break the pain and make the clouds subside..
Until, the next thought comes in and crowds my mind again.
I meditate, I mediate, I relax and try not to try… But then I once again break down and cry.

Is it my condition? Or this world we live in?
To label my disposition; dyslexia, dyspraxia, hormonal or autism?..
But what do these tags really define? Am I so different? Or is it just the time?
I hear the wise words loud and clear. I pray that perhaps some ability to manage myself is near.

 

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What I’ve learnt on a Plant Dieta

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Before I embarked on this adventure to diet with a plant, i.e. the drinking of a medicine produced by boiling its bark (or other part of the plant/tree depending on the medicine prescribed for you); I had no idea what I was getting myself in for.

I knew there would be plant ceremonies with the native Ayahuasca on this 2 week retreat, and I knew maybe I’d be eating a clean diet for a while but, I had no idea what I would be getting as a part of the ‘plant-dieta’..

Why do a plant diet/dieta?

When you diet with a plant (also known as a master plant) you are taking on said master plant as a spirit ally, during the plant dieta/diet, you drink a certain amount of the medicine made from this plant (usually a brew from boiled bark or roots, or sometimes it’s put into alcohol) for a set number of days that you have, or that your shaman deems appropriate for you.  In this time, as the plant begins to grow, it also starts healing you; don’t worry, it’s not like you’re going to be taken oven and have a tree growing out of your butt, but rather growing with you energetically and spiritually.

Each plant has different healing properties, they are prescribed based on where you are in life and perhaps what kind of healing you require.  For me, I dieted with a grand tree from the Amazon called Chuchuwasha; I’ve read many different things on it since coming back to the UK but the best correlation I could get between the internet and the wonderful man who was making these medicines out in Peru was that it:

Improves energy (and yes it certainly has for me!  I’ve not felt so good in at least 10 years!), helps decision making and finding ones centre.  Heals scars, heals hernias, colds, burns and it’s used to heal arthritis or rheumatism too.

What does it entail?

As I mentioned before, you need to drink the medicine of this plant for an amount of time (I was in dieta for 12 days with it), at given amounts and times of the day.  For me, this was 1/3 of a small glass 3 times a day, 30 minutes before each meal.  I won’t lie, it tasted foul.  It sometimes also had big gloopy bits, which I tried to drink, but one bit was bigger than my mouth so I had to use it as a medicine for the wildlife outside my tambo (traditional jungle sleeping hut). *gag* gracias medicina *gag*

chuchuDifferent shamans will have different regimes, ours was pretty strict, during dieta when drinking our master plants, we were only permitted to eat basic carbs like rice, quinoa, potatoes and oats, no salt, no sugar, no fruit, no dairy and no condiments or spices.  Also allowed were vegetables, salad (but no onions, tomatoes or avocados) and the occasional small, bony river fish; but no oils, no nuts, no seeds, no meat and no legumes.  This is so that the plant you’re cultivating to be your ally doesn’t get disturbed, so it has the best chance to grown within your energy and stay with you for life.

And seeing as spices are out, of course, no alcohol, no chemical products (not even to wash clothes unless it’s done for you – thank you to the beautiful women taking care of me at the centre), no perfumes, no toothpaste, no shampoo, the odd not too strong essential oil is ok, in moderation.  Different master plants also have their different traits and attributes, some are strong and righteous and therefore require you to be very strict with your diet and post-diet; some are more jealous and may cause adverse effects if you wear the fragrance of other plants too much from soaps or other products.  Also, no sex, no touching or hugging each other and no stimulation from playing music (unless with your own instrument), no TV, there was no wifi to offer temptation luckily, no reading unnecessary materials and to include plenty of meditation, writing and reflective time; but no masturbation either!  If you smoke, you can buy pure tobacco in Peru, or mapachos, which are used in ceremony for protection and cleansing, but no normal tobacco or cigarettes, leave out the chemicals..

It’s important to adhere to how you’ve been advised as not only can it damage the diet and your bond with your plant but it can make you feel really unwell and some say can fire back at your shaman and make them unwell too.  The no touching part and no TV etc is because during dieta you are extremely sensitive and open; you are open to take on the energy of others, which more than likely will not serve you; and of course, you may be dieting with a more jealous master plant!  Nature is the best place to be.  There was minimal electricity at the centre, only a small amount of solar power which I occasionally used to charge my phone to know the time relative to when was dinner/medicine time or upon waking during the night to know how long it’d be until sunrise!

At this centre I also mentioned the work with ayahuasca, wow, this kind of work is never compulsory but I’ve found it deeply profound in helping me to realise or remember several things about who I really am, what I want out of life and even how I can go about changes in myself to align more with the greater good.  The ceremonies are the part where you recieve a shed load of information, remove a few layers of dirt from your internal mirror and re-calibrate where you’re at in life, major reset and healing time.

Thankfully at the retreat centre, everything to do with food is done for you, the expert chefs/muma/sister feed you abundantly on the foods you can eat and ensure you don’t get confused with the food which may be being eaten by non-dieting people who visit the centre; I wish I had planned in to do my post-dieta there too.

What I’ve learnt on a plant dieta?

What I’ve learn on this plant dieta, combined with the interspersed ayahuasca ceremonies (not having them every day is perfect, they require a lot of energy and thus also some proper restoration time after), is about how I received so much energy, so much clarity, healing, and discernment. I had been working with low energy levels for going on 10 years now, major problems with my intestines and digestion and large amounts of anxiety; I feel the power and the spirit of this tree is now a part of me, I feel stronger and more able to take on the world again; even from the position of living in the opportunity mecca of London.

Not only that, but I also reconnected to myself and nature.  The environmental settings are key.  By the second day a big part of me wanted tobobbinsana leave, I was sh*t scared of the hairy caterpillar farm which was a part of my tambo, the spiders who showed up in my mosquito net and all the noises of things I’d never met before.  Not knowing if I would get bitten by something dangerous or, end up with ants in my pants and more than just mosquito bites on my ass, arms and ankles..  Being reassured that there was nothing lethal around me I began to get used to the ants, I stopped trying to kill all the creepy crawlies and instead got to know them, saw them simply moving about their business and neither of us needing to hurt the other.  This is a BIG and ongoing lesson for me..

Combined with the ayahuasca ceremonies I managed to shed a lot of accumulated energies which weren’t mine, and were just weighing me down.  I can now see a lot bigger perspective and a lot more clearly about where I end and another begins, and where we are all actually inseparable.

What now?

So now, I am during my 3rd week post-dieta which means I still have another 10-20 days of restrictive diet to really allow chuchuwasha to settle in my system and also not to shock my system with too many strong foods or products.  I’ve noticed if I do accidentally disturb the diet (having cold water if you’d believe it) or am exposed to the London commute too intensely, that I really feel it.  It’s difficult integrating into ‘normality’, but to be honest, I don’t want to get back to what I previously felt was normal.  We overfill our bodies with refined sugar and weird fats derived and synthesised from all sorts of insanity, repress emotions, and agree to be a part of a jumble of people exuding their disdain for life – no more.  I have no desire to be mindlessly drunk or to suppress any part of me.  The main thing I miss is sex and chocolate (I’m talking 100% organic, farm assured cacao baby), 13 days and counting until those are back in my life.

Interested?

I’m open for questions if anyone else considers on embarking on this incredible, life changing journey.  NOTE: Blog update – it’s taken my some time to process and despite the amazing dieta and healing with beautiful fellow journeyers on this retreat; I renounce my recommendation of this particular centre.  It’s transpired a misplacement of power has occurred, on several occasions.  Unfortunately, many western women (especially blonde) have been pray to shaman who have more ‘power’ then they can handle – unless male, or going in a couple, please seek yourself a FEMALE shaman.  I know an amazing couple who work with medicine who have helped manage this situation with love and understanding, there are always people you can trust, but be sure not to put yourself in a vulnerable space..

Much love, thanks for reading

x

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I have eyes

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I have eyes and I know you can see,

You have eye so why not look at me?

Look into my eyes and maybe you’ll see,

I’m not as bad as your mind has painted me..

 

I’m not a stranger,

I mean you no danger.

Take a glance in my eyes,

And I, you will recognise.

 

Look into my eyes and you may see, more than this body, hair and battered dignity..

 

See into my open eyes,

And you’ll see more than the distractions outside.

Look into my eyes as you barge past me,

Maybe you’ll be kinder next time, recognising our shared humanity..

 

Why can you not look?  Why do you not see!?

 

Are you too cool, too trendy or just too busy?..

LOOK at the real person you discard as you disregard and push past me.

Drop the front, the o so serious  act,

Seriousness will kill you quicker, that’s a fact!

Or is it pain, which keeps your gaze far from near?

Avoiding my eyes to hide some embedded fear..

 

We’re all tired, hungry, fed up, and want to be else where,

But how to not let this hurt rebound on another, acting as if we don’t care?

You care if I barge past you, or accidentally step on your shoe.

I care if you do the same to me too,

Unless; we share that kind glance,

Make recognition of each others existence.

 

Or, do you misinterpret my intention?  The real reason I look to spark this connection..

 

To glance into each others eyes,

To let our souls connect without guise,

Showing ones self ones own true reflection,

It’s a different kind of affection..

Think of the power for all to be made,

If when standing next to you, we let the disconnections fade..

 

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When I first moved to London no one believed at first I was English because of my choice to smile and be friendly on the underground.  Over the years I’m finding it hard to keep up.  But, I can’t just let my spirit die with the daily grind, the human spirit is stronger than that!  The Pink Floyd lyrics comes to mind: “Together we Stand, Divided we Fall”

If we can’t come together when standing next to each other on a train or in the street then how?   Smile.  It’s free and it releases endorphins.  🙂

 

 

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Less Like Hard Work

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I’ve been working with an intention for the last 3 weeks to not work so hard.  I know I know!  My work is on a freelance basis, therefore one needs to work really hard to make it happen (it’s ok mum, I’m doing great with work)..  Getting places on time.  Being in a committed relationship, this too requires work, and, personal development plays a big part in my life, always working hard to be the best I can be.  Friendships require effort and attention, and so does physical yoga and Pilates practice, Meditation and studying a nutritionist diploma.  Life can be hard work!

Any of that sound familiar?!

So here’s where things have started to shift for me and how not working so hard has been the ultimate blessing for my productivity and creativity..  I regularly go for 1:1 sessions with the wonderful Kate Ellis (look her up for amazingness in and around deep yoga journeying), and one thing she observed, which I now feel I observe in many around me, is the drive to work really hard!  To be strong and make things happen!

I grew up with the mantra to work hard for what I wanted, be that physical achievements, work, studies or relationships.  Reflecting, I’ve achieved really well from my degree, several decent jobs and many other qualifications now under my belt; I’ve been married for over 2 years and I feel I have a beautiful set of friends I love and appreciate.  I worked F-ing hard to get to where I am now, sitting in my yoga dojo in my warm and lovely home; and I’m grateful for all my hard work and that of those around me to help me get to here.  However, I’m now learning, there is a different way…

Downfalls of working excessively hard: Fatigue, tiredness, stress (leading to development of Crohn’s disease for me), control issues, sore and tight muscles and generally an absence of the lightness in life.

It doesn’t have to be this way..

So, this last 3 weeks experiment of not working so hard have been some of the hardest 3 weeks of my life to date!  Learning to let go, properly let go of things, express what bothers me (rather than swallow it and tell myself I need to work harder to avoid certain feelings) be open to opportunities but stop trying to make so much work and happen all at once; being able to trust that I do have enough work, more is coming to me and that I teach awesome classes and am a great friend and wife without having to spend so much energy.  Among the challenge and the bouts of major anxiety I can finally feel not working so hard working for me..  Life is unfolding in a much more natural way and my own practice and teaching have just spun off to a whole new level of awareness and spaciousness; holding a space rather than trying to fill it with the best solutions I could find.  Friends and relationships will stay if they’re meant to be, meeting up with someone doesn’t need to be a chour but an easy meeting when and where paths are crossing and vibrations resonate.

Does any of this echo for you?  Are you exhausted with life?  Try taking a step back and let it come to you.  Trust me, as a freelancer getting over an unhealthy relationship with money and self worth, it’s hard not chasing every lead; but relaxing, trusting and staying more open and focused to the now, has invited in more work and better clients than I could have found marching the streets of London for 10 years, wearing a body poster.  Lol, funny but unnecessary image.

Watch, Listen and Learn from yourself.  Stop forcing that yoga posture, stop forcing yourself to perform like a circus monkey.  Be full present in Each and Every Moment.  Honor your softer side in balance and harmony with your harder edge..

With love xxx

P.s. I don’t mean stop getting out of bed, turning up for work or calling your friends!  Apply effort that feels nourishing.  Be kind to you.

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Why is Yoga so Popular?

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No doubt about it, every where you go, there is someone who practices, or has attained their Teacher Training for yoga (even if not using it).  Yoga seems to have become one of the world’s major commodities, yoga clothes, equipment, sessions, classes, training courses, retreats, workshops, holidays, studios, you name it!..  It’s easier in some places to do your TT than to study anything else which has such a powerful return..  I’m not saying I agree with the way all teachers come through, especially considering (when applied as intended, rather than as a fitness regime simply taking the name of Yoga..) the emotional, physical, energetic and psychological transformations that go on in class and session.  But, what is going on?..

For me, and many others, the journey into yoga has been profound, to say the least.  Through practicing yoga (considering of course the broad perspective of meditation, asana, pranayama and ways of discipline) I have not only saved myself from another potentially brutal surgery, addictions and an eating disorder but I’m continuing to unfold the rich tapestry that is life, and why it would seem, to me, we’re here having this set of experiences in the first place..

Previous to teaching yoga, my training was all in workings of the body, mind, computers and maths; science explored with hard evidence.  I would pick up the odd self-help book to help me to make a little more sense of the muddle of life (although a well paid job and lovely friends and home) which would just seemingly happen around me.  Through my ‘formal’ education, there was little to NO ‘soft skills’ , ‘life skills’ and not enough support with those huge questions such as, what is the meaning of life?  Or, how can bad things happen to innocent children?  What is the point of me being here?!  And, how do I process these feelings?..

Along comes yoga.  It was and still is tough, it got to my ego how weak I had become through sickness and lifestyle.  I was hooked on getting stronger.  But the more I took the time to listen to my teachers about the breath work, the meditation and intentions during physical practices, the more my curiosity and excitement grew for the broader subject of yoga.  Asking questions to my teachers, taking time out in India, reading more and more about the origins of yoga, and how others have interpreted that, I became aware of and interested in that part of myself which connected me to something bigger..  Coming from Catholic schooling if I ever heard the word God before, then I would turn my nose up and laugh..

The more I unfolded within myself, the more I noticed the needing to witness what’s going on around me, rather than getting caught up in it so much.  I see now, how much we are all connected, even though our personalities might be the furthest thing apart.  The more this connection strengthens between myself and all that is, the more I want to share this with others.  As surely, when all living beings recognise their own greatness – then the power struggle, greed and fear can stop, and I feel, ‘bad’ things will stop happening to innocent men, women and children through more willingness to share and love..

How many other ‘main stream’ jobs, classes, activities or lines of inquiry offer this?  How many other jobs push you to explore the deepest darkest parts of your psyche?  What else is there to help you unfold in a friendly, fun and loving atmosphere?  Unless you go into other therapies such as body work or psychology of sorts then there is no onus to develop ones self beyond the text book; even then, I’m not sure of how many disciplines of the mind have you exploring the soul and the body at the same time..  AND, yoga has become so accessible to study..

It doesn’t surprise me how so many people are hooked on yoga.  I’d say if you have discovered you like it, doing the teacher training is a great way you can do to form a better relationship with yourself, even if you don’t want to teach (or, even easier, a regular yoga and mediation practice with a dedicated teacher where there is space for you to ask questions and interact).  Hearing some reports, it may not sound like all training courses support students the same..  The main reason I advocate yoga so strongly is because I’m not sure how many other disciplines incorporate such depth of self-discovery?  Or, offer support through a change of perspective and the openness to challenge old beliefs..?  Martial arts are also a beautiful discipline but again, can be questionable as to it’s path also into spiritual growth..

Choose your guru or teachers wisely, find ones which speak to your heart in a very pure sense..  There is no greater feeling than that of self-liberation, self-empowerment and realising you are a part of something greater, together..