Blog

Posted on

Is it my condition? Or this world we live in?

Maybe I need to go live in a small village in Africa/India. I saw this video of Gabor Maté had been shared just after I wrote the poem below, trying to muddle through the highs and lows that seem to be concurrent with life.. Wasn’t going to post the poem because I don’t want to be judge or pitied by others (so I put it out to Facebook as a trial run, and got an appreciated response,  and thus wanted to share it here too).  I have a feeling it’s not just me and sometimes by sharing your daemons you can let others know you’re on the continuum together. No one is ‘normal’, it’s just our society likes boxes and unless you fit into a box then life can be pretty insane…

fears

I listen, I read, I write
I process, I allow and yet still I fight..
The words of elders resonate about my being, talking of a lighter path which I think I’m seeing..
Is it this human disposition to continuously forget? Or my reason for being, I did not meet yet?
All these offerings of advice, even when wound up all succinct and concise;
in one moment they liberate my soul, in the next, I’m lost and again feel vexed..
Where do I turn when it feels like all I can do is run?
Run away or run to? I’m not sure but I’m oh so confused.
Yet again, the pearls of wisdom flood in from outside. They break the pain and make the clouds subside..
Until, the next thought comes in and crowds my mind again.
I meditate, I mediate, I relax and try not to try… But then I once again break down and cry.

Is it my condition? Or this world we live in?
To label my disposition; dyslexia, dyspraxia, hormonal or autism?..
But what do these tags really define? Am I so different? Or is it just the time?
I hear the wise words loud and clear. I pray that perhaps some ability to manage myself is near.

 

Posted on

2016 A Year for Clarity

2015

Wow.  What a year..  How was your 2015 for you?..

We’re continually encouraged to grow and connect with the wider world, at least astrologically and energetically speaking..  Getting clear about what we are and what we are not; seeing more reflections of our innate values and innocent self; beyond social and familial conditioning..

Christmas can be a great time to see a run through of the generations, witnessing at large, the changes happening as we all grow towards a new paradigm.  Perhaps, also being able to allow grace on those traits we see in our parents, and our parents parents, or our churches or society which have previously driven us to insanity or despair.  The cold (ish, it’s on it’s way!) air clearing the mind and allowing a much needed opportunity for reflection; a time to see ourselves more clearly and to be able to reflect these self-realisations into our expressions.  Not falling back into the comfortable, known, confused, disconnected and deluded self..

In 2016, pay attention to your reality; pay attention to those around you, the reflections received and the projections you may still be making..  We are all mirrors; to be able to detach from certain ways of being (without getting drawn in and replaying old stories of the victim, the bully or the child), in order to empower our living more in alignment with our ‘higher’ selves.  Acting more consciously, seeing those reflections which make us grimace or feel a strong emotion, and not dismissing them as someone else’s shit but seeing that it’s OUR buttons which are being pushed.  Thus, feeling the emotions, making the most of a chance to further connect with a potentially hidden part of oneself, and to grow awareness of and beyond those things we see, not only to grow from the reflections we don’t enjoy seeing, but from the ones which we enjoy too.  It’s not about self-sacrifice but self-actualisation, and this ever expanding and blossoming realisation of self is how we further come into harmony with our surroundings, nature and our homes.  When feeling this connection to the Earth and each other, how can we not treat them with the same love we are craving as individuals?

Happy new year kids.  Remember that drunk youth who falls into you on the dance floor hasn’t got the beef if it’s YOU (or me) who is getting angry at the situation..  Have a great 2016.

LOVE

 

Source of Astrological information and inspiration:

 

Posted on

Reiki, energy medicine

reikiblog2

Photo Credit Miguel Echiveria

The word ‘Reiki’ is more common place than “Reiki & Seichem”.  This is because Reiki, on it’s own has been in the West a lot longer than being offered in combination with it’s sibling energy, Seichem, read below for a break down on these.

I hear some skepticism around Reiki & Seichem, and I can’t blame people.  It took a long while for me to really trust in what I was feeling, and to appreciate what I’m working with.  My journey working with other kinds of medicines and healing techniques just keeps bringing me back to the energy, i.e. Reiki & Seichem; and the more I work with it, the more strongly I, and my clients can feel its charge.

If you’ve any science or physics to your back ground (I have quite a bit of science, in the form of a bioinformatics degree; but physics only to A-Level, hence taking my time to fully appreciate this), you’ll know about energy, atoms, protons, neutrons, electrons, and perhaps quarks, neutrinos, taos, anti-matter etc etc..  Trying to keep things on a level here, not too technical I mean (apologies if it does get a bit geeky); everything, even air, is made up of atoms and atoms combine to make molecules (O2 being the chemical formula for oxygen); therefore everything has a charge, or a current to it; as everything is made of atom (and all atoms have electrons, protons and neutrons).

Within molecules, inter-atomic forces are at play, and can attribute to the atoms vibrating to and from their equilibrium points, this movement plus rotations of the negatively charged electrons, help to play a part in the vibration of particular atoms or molecules.  Thus, the atoms (particles) move in a wave-like pattern (look up wave-particle duality theory for more information).  The electromagnetic spectrum is also another great way science can help illustrate where this wave oscillation and vibration works within our world.

 The electrical current which flows through different materials has different levels of conduction (i.e. how easy it is for electricity, or let’s say energy, more broadly speaking; to flow through it).  Energy moves therefore, at different frequencies and at different wave lengths depending on its charge and conduction through different atoms and molecules (i.e. air, matter such as your computer, your brain and body..).  Energy is never created or destroyed but, somehow it manages to change state, a lot, depending on where it came from last and what it’s passing through, and a whole host of other variables.  I consider Reiki & Seichem to be super conductive energies with a healing intention, coming from an unlimited source; you hear about people wanting to re-connect with source; the Reiki & Seichem currents are uninterrupted and pure channels from this source; the place where we are all, as one.

I wanted to get into a little bit of physics to open (or re-open for some) the conversation that, everything isn’t only what we can see with our fantastic, yet finite left and right eyes.  We can’t see air yet there is a lot going on there.  We can’t see through ‘solid wood’ yet the wood is never any more solid than the air, or ether, around us.  To expand our horizons and push the boundaries of what we ‘know’, is where we can continue/start to grow..

Reiki & Seichem are channeled through a person who has been opened/attuned to these particular energy channels.  This energy channelling is then done within a session, or treatment, which can last anywhere between 10 and 60 minutes (you can probably get longer sessions but I personally find this is the most I feel ok to work per session).  It is said to be a ‘hands on’ method but this doesn’t mean you’ll have hands on your physical body, generally the work is done in your energetic body, or aura, which means no touching necessary; but working a couple of inches above your physical body.   Everyone works differently, some people will go to chakras or points of trouble for the patient, where as I like to let me hands guide me, intuitively; it doesn’t matter so much where the therapist is positioned as the energy has an intelligence of its own, it knows where to go, and seeks to heal and balance where ever it is needed.

In order to practice Reiki & Seichem you need to be attuned to these specific frequencies.  Of course, anyone can channel their own energy or any other source they can tap into but, just be mindful, a) not to deplete yourself if it’s your energy you’re channeling, b) about what energy it is you are sharing, as everything has different properties, it’s important to be aware with what it is you’re playing with.  If you think of the string theory, and then have Reiki & Seichem as one of those strings, consider all the other potentials too – with all their other properties, a potential mine field, but also very interesting.

Reiki [ “Ray-Kee” ] and Seichem [ “Say-Keem” ] are the names given a set of 4 elemental, universal energies which work in harmony with each other.  The energies are:

Reiki – Life force energy which is connected to the earth element but is NOT energy from the Earth (i.e. not from our 3D planet Earth manifestation), it pervades the entire universe through all dimensions.  Reiki energy can be beneficial for physical, mental and emotional health and sets the groundwork through which the other energies can work.  It can be experienced as hot or cool energy.

Sakara – Elemental fire energy works effectively in the body’s electro-magnetic aura.  Sakara cleanses the chakras and burns out the things which no longer serve you, burning through blockages and thus can be experienced as a hot or tingling energy.

Sophi-el – Elemental water energy which works deep within the emotional body, it helps to find the core cause and effect of issues.  Sophi-el therefore also supports emotional and sexual healing and opens the heart to receive love and feel compassion; it is known to assist in increasing the healer’s psychic awareness.  It can be experienced as gentle and cool or even ice cold!

Angelic Light – Elemental air energy which can enhance the healer’s 3rd eye perceptions and forms a link with the angelic realm.  When people receive this energy it is generally experienced as a cool and gentle breeze, and can sometimes feel like the healing work is being carried out nowhere near where the healer’s hands are.

The above 4 energies all work together, in harmony to bring about the potential for profound healing to the receiver.

If you’re interested in getting a treatment it’s always a good idea to check out your choice of therapist, or even to find one through the RASA (Reiki & Seichem Association) website, as here all the people listed have had their lineages checked and you’ll know you are working with someone legitimate.  Equally, if you’re local to London, drop me a line.

Warm regards and with SO much Love x

Posted on

When to go to yoga Vs. When not to go to yoga

whentogo

Photo on left curtousy of Miguel Echiveria, Photo right taken by C Suzuki @Froguesthouse, Lima

It comes up relatively frequently for me, as a hunch, intuition or sometimes a humanistic rash judgement, without knowing someone’s full situation first (one reason I wanted to write this, to encourage people to open a dialog more before session starts); thinking someone might had been better off to stay at home.  Or, upon hearing the reason for someone’s absence, feeling maybe it could have helped if they had joined in.  I had a friend/student call me last night with regards to if they ought to join the class or not; they had been sick in bed all day, felt pretty rubbish but were very excited to come to practice; my answer was to stay in bed..  Generally I won’t turn some one away, and intend to not interrupt their process as you never know the kind of day or week that has been had.  Unless it’s a medical condition or, compromising their health or recovery, everyone is welcome; discernment taken by each individual about their own abilities, in each moment with conscious and with clear intentions, not just when a part of the self has become compromised.

Classes tend to be a mixed bag of bodies and souls, bringing your body to class with all it’s nuances is anticipated; but if the nuance/sickness/pregnancy is new and you don’t know how to handle it, then ask your regular teacher and if they can support you in your regular class.  Communicate what you need, then if they aren’t confident to have your best interests at heart, it’s a really good idea to get some help in an/some individual sessions or specialist classes so you are more empowered in your practice.

When it’s a good idea to go to class (even if sometimes you feel a bit lazy, or cold or simply not sure):

  • Exactly that – if it’s cold outside, you’ve got too much on your mind, or if you’re in two minds about going to class, simply move your ass and go!  However,  if it’s your intuition saying no, a firm, deep no, then this is different, and needs to be listened to and respected.  If it’s because you have too much on your mind or feel too ‘busy’ then go, particularly going to yoga, Pilates, Tai Chi or other similar discipline can help your busy mind to function better.  In these modalities of movement where you to meditate on the moment, you allow your subconscious mind to work out all of those things which are bugging your brain.  The more you try to solve a problem which alludes you, the further the answer will be.
  • If you’ve been ill but you’re getting over it.  Clearly, if you’re still bed bound, don’t go and read below.  When you’re mainly healed, it’s important you move your body, and get the lymphatic system flowing and draining properly, moving your muscles allows this to happen much more  effectively.  Laying still will not help you to rid yourself of toxins, and to feel fresher the next day; however if it’s a major illness you’re recovering from take it slowly; if you’ve been out of it for more than a few days, start really easy and make sure your doctor is happy with you rejoining class.  Incorporate plenty of rest, nourishment and water or herbal teas after class, more than likely you’ll feel much better the next day.
  • If you don’t get out much, or trying to manage a condition which perhaps has special needs.  Locate someone who feels good for you, even if you can only gauge it from a trusted friends recommendation, a picture, or a phone call.  If you have issues which mean you might need help or have special needs during a class, talk to the teacher and see if they can facilitate for this and to enable you to make yourself comfortable.  Being a part of a small group of people, in a mindful space, is a really good for body and soul.  If a small group feels too much, book a 1:1 (sometimes can be at your home even), ensure you get a feeling for your guide/teacher first.
  • If your muscles are tight from stress, too much cardio or high impact, mega DOMS (Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness) perhaps.  Get stretching!  Find yoga or Pilates to recentre and realign your body and mind, and help relieve muscle tightness and stiffness.  Muscles need lengthening, not just strengthening, and any good yoga or Pilates class with help you to do both!

When not to go to class:

  • If you’re sick and in bed.  If you’re that sick you need to stay in bed.  If it’s a cold or flu then also consider your class mates and teacher not getting sick too from you (this goes for being in public spaces, in Japan, the sick people are the ones wearing the face masks, might try this one myself if need to be out when have flu!).
  • If you’re in your first trimester of pregnancy or think you might be pregnant, or if you’re undergoing IVF.  At this time class (although other teacher’s opinions will differ), you’re very sensitive, it’s when your body needs all of it’s energy to make a new home for your new baby!  If you are yearning to move, find someone who knows about these times of life and have a 1:1, or if they run classes ask them if you can join.  If you are advanced and consistent with your practice before your pregnancy, then this might then be different for you.  But when there’s another life at stake, I’d always say take the easier and safer option, for the first trimester at least.  If you are advanced and can’t afford a 1:1 – perhaps gentle home practice is better than a vinyasa high energy class, maybe pregnancy classes or at least get some basic advice about how to adapt BEFORE you get into any postures or move.
  • If you’ve recently had surgery or are being looked after by a doctor (heart, bone, blood, nerve, brain, respiratory, hormonal, digestive lymphatic issues, everything!) and not been signed off yet.  I’ve sadly turned people away from classes for this kind of thing, it feels rubbish to do..  Unless you’re signed off, then you’re still fragile and your body needs to be kept resting, if you must move about, ask your doctor what you can do now, and always, always tell your instructor or teacher about things when you return to class or sessions.
  • If your gut, heart or intuition simply tells you not to.  Because you’re going out drinking, isn’t an excuse.  But if you feel it deep to your core not to go, never override these instincts; it’s usually the first instinct which is best as it is unadulterated by the mind.  We’ve been taught for too long to ignore these instincts, it’s important to allow this sense of self to blossom within, it can save much time, effort and pain if we can listen to ourselves better!
Posted on

How do you know if your shaman is legit?

legit3

This is of prime importance.  If you decide to drink traditional medicine, it is essential to have the right administration.  This needs the right person (with the right lineage), at the right place, and with the right intention.

To get the most out of it, and to keep safe, you want this to be a conscious journey from preparation on-wards.

Why not just go and see the group who has lots of followers and promotes themselves on facebook?

Sense and intuition check, this method of self-promotion and ‘smoke screens’ effect, is a front, which usually has very little substance.  A legitimate shaman don’t need to advertise their retreats, as other people who have attended previously are already doing this for them.  Once you’ve attended a ceremony with a maestro/shaman who is so absorbed in helping people, sharing his icaros (special songs sung during ceremony) with love and good intent; you too will want to open this channel up to as many as you can.  Distributing the healing further to your friends, family and communities at home.  You might (or not) find a retreat or medicine centre who has a facebook page, this is different.  They don’t generally advertise organised retreats here, some shamans are gonna be tech savy, they’re human.  But let the information about particular retreats come to you by word of mouth from people who have been there; tried and tested.

legit1

OK, so where does one find this ‘legit’ shaman?..

Usually in the jungle, where the medicine comes from, close to the heart of the Amazon; and by heart I don’t only mean geographically speaking (there are of course charlatans in the jungle too..).  In finding these people, you usually need a contact.  A reference if you will.  If you don’t have one of those, then start to mix in circles whom feel good to be around and who may associate with traditional medicines; such as yogis, drumming/shamanic music circles or even better, anything which makes your heart sing.  If you need the medicine, it will find you.  Perhaps this means breaking out of your routine to make some new friends, and find some new information along the way.

You may also hear of ceremonies being held closer to home than the Amazon, again, these can both be legit and a scam.  Ask yourself, how did you hear about it?  Do you know anyone whose been?  If recommended by a friend, word of mouth – if you trust this friend then perhaps it’s worth investigating.  I’ve attended a few ceremonies out of the Amazon.  All have been legit but most haven’t been right for me, one there wasn’t enough medicine, one it was a different medicine, and none had the safe container of the jungle; yes the countryside but no jungle, or full on South American nature and nurturing.  Nothing compares to learning from something in it’s homeland, but then that takes an investment which isn’t always accessible.  We have to work with what we have at the time.  If you’re in a space where it’s too expensive or you can’t find a shaman to trust, at least go to a yoga, Qigong or meditation class; the skills taught to you there (again with the right person guiding you), will help to further prepare you for your Ayahuasca journey.

A final note about ceremonies closer to home, a couple of good friends of mine attended an ayahuasca retreat in some Italian mountains.  It was organised by people also proposing to run training in working with Aya, they had a negative experience lets say.  This was a money making excursion, too many people cramped up in poor conditions, not paying attention to a proper diet to support the plant medicine, disturbing advice/insistence during the sharing to vulnerable individuals (potentially emotionally and psychologically dangerous behavior towards the attendees), and upon investigation with friends in Peru – it would seem their lineage is false.  I’m talking about a big group, with a big facebook following whom I thought was legit, until I heard about this ceremony and dug some more..  Just because facebook tells you about it, doesn’t mean you need to believe in it!

legit2

So, let’s say you’ve got your ticket to Peru, or you’re ready to book but you still don’t know where your shaman is..

Chances are you might find a contact when you reach Peru (we had 2 lovely girls join our retreat later on because they met our shaman’s girlfriend in town, and were from the same country as she, thus sparked a trusting connection, an organic interaction).  Take discernment about trying to book an ‘Ayahuasca tour’ from one of the agencies in a shop or on the streets of Cuzco or Iquitos, or anywhere else for that matter (I met a guy in Cuzco who asked me if I wanted to go to the jungle with him, although I was greatly missing the jungle at this time, I also quickly worked out his intentions were not about my healing and safety..)..  If it needs proper advertising, odds are, it’s not very good (think junk food); it’s people in anticipation of making money and therefore, their intentions are already not in your favor.  In this case, again, ASK.  Ask friends, teachers, peers in those circles you join for yoga, meditation, tai chi, nutritional medicine or somewhat, there is probably someone who knows someone!

Another report from different friends who were doing Ayahuasca several years ago; they were on a floating raft going down the Amazon river (in the pitch black, as usual), and had the impression that their shaman didn’t even show concern about them or their safety.  As one of them did nearly fall off during his psychedelic journeying!..  This, and hearing reports about the bodies of people who have died during ceremony and then simply being discarded, without a word makes me urge you to take caution.

The medicine it’s self is made by the shaman or someone close to him, and it is essential for it to be done with love and care.  It needs to be a pure brew.  There are an abundance of medicinal (and toxic) plants in the jungle, there also are those which suit some, better than others.  You want to be in a space where the shaman is completely aware of the energy, where he knows you are contained, and working with a medicine he trusts for your gringo composition.  Of course, there is always some risk, just like there is when taking any other medicine or thing which alters you for a few hours; mitigate these risks and do it properly!

Many people who try ayahuasca, fall in love with it (despite the purging and challenges of needing to work on what it shows you, both during, and most importantly after the ceremony), this is generally due to its ability to bring profound clarity and healing to the one drinking it.  But if it’s not prepared right, if the intentions are not clear and pure, then the outcome probably wont be either.

Consider a doctor, if he’s only in his work to make money, the pharmaceutical companies can then use him to recommend their drugs and he makes even more money.  At your appointment, he will give you the most expensive pills he can, pills which have been manufactured as a part of a business (i.e. to make money) and although they might treat your symptom of migraines, there will be a whole host of side effects and ill effects you’re not sure of; and he hasn’t bothered to treat the reason why you have this problem.  Furthermore, because the main aim to give you this particular drug was to make money, no care has gone into your well-being; so you suffer to make someone a quick buck..

Perhaps a crude analogy but like the advertising one (i.e. if it needs to be advertised, it’s probably junk you don’t want or need anyhow) – they have logic.  When embarking on such deep work, you need to keep your logic and intuition in check at all times.  Best wishes and enjoy your reset and deprogramming!

Posted on

Why drink Ayahuasca? What to expect from it.

ayaexpect1

Why is ‘alternative’ healing becoming such a big thing in the West?  What’s happened with conventional pharmaceuticals?  Why do we seek something to take the pain away over and over again (not just pharmaceuticals, drink, drugs, sex, addictions)..?  Why do we get so caught up and cranky in the first place?..

Because we need help, because the drugs and the pharmaceutical companies don’t work, or, they make things worse..  Because denying we have a problem doesn’t work, because sometimes we feel the symptoms but we don’t know where to start in order to get a cure..  We are ultimately human, programmed to be forgetful and have minds which often dominate our lives; thus, sometimes we forget to ask for this help, even when our bodies and energies have been crying out for years..

Ayahuasca is a traditional, indigenous medicine which has been used for many many years to shed the veils of ‘crap’ (technical word) we accumulate during life.  Consider an innocent, pure, loving baby.  Then consider it’s parents (usually with good intentions), they start to train it how they were trained,to give it the same or similar constraints they were given growing up; i.e. you can’t eat this because of X, do this because of Y, if you do Z you will fail in life, you need to do W to be successful.. etc. etc..  There is also school, religion, peers and other influences which bombard this little soul until it grows up with a whole set of conditions for life that it’s taken from its family, friends and society; without really getting a chance to even express its reason for living.

Ayahuasca (Aya) helps you to see and pull back all of these layers of conditioning, to liberate the soul and give each individual a chance to reset and deprogram from the junk accumulated during life.  Those fears, those anxieties, those pains you have but don’t know where they came from half the time.  Aya helps you to see them for what they are and, purge them out, leaving you a little lighter than society left you (intentionally or unintentionally, everyone tries their best..).

Full Moon Ceremony

The Maloka roof top when in ceremony during full moon

I went to the jungle to drink this ancient brew because I was struggling in life.  Struggling in my city life to feel a part of something, as so many people who pass me by also felt (to me) so disconnected from life its self.  I wanted to feel a connection to something consistent and healthy, something energising rather than draining.  Yes, I have beautiful friends near by which I am totally grateful for, some family too.  But, this busy city life plus feeling totally done-in from the years of self-abuse, drugs, men, hectic living and, even though my path was now much more conscious, it still hadn’t made up for these past 15 years where I had endured a LOT of pain, suffering and outputting energy never recouped.

You can see it in someone’s eyes when they’ve been on a path like this for too long, not taken enough heed of nature or not getting out enough from the concrete jungle, even for the humble yet beautiful British countryside..  You don’t have to have an interesting story of debauchery to have a reason to want to find this release, quite often the mundane day in day out in the city or ‘civilised’ towns, is what can disconnect you further from the precise reason why you were born..  We weren’t made to be so herded together, our true nature has been inhibited by our drive for growth and excess; but that is another story, I won’t digress..

aya4

The Maloka roof top during a day ceremony

Again, ayahuasca is not a drug on which to just get high.  Anyone who uses it as such hasn’t been shown how powerful it can be..  Misuse of anything, even paracetamol, alcohol or coffee (all legal and easy to get) can end up fatal, for those people who are scared – don’t be a dickhead and make sure your shaman is legit (am writing a post for this now – PLEASE go from a recommendation, and NOT just a facebook page as I’ve close friends who’ve had a bad encounter with these Facebook promoted people, even if they have thousands of followers, not cool) and you’ll be safe.

I’m sure you get the why of it, deprogram, cast a light on those dark parts of you so hidden you can only feel their shadow.  If you seem to have anxiety, stress, low energy or keep falling into destructive or unhelpful patterns..

So, what to expect from an ayahuasca ceremony?

Expect the unexpected.

Everyone experiences it differently, every shaman has a different twist on how their medicine is brewed, how strong it is, or even if you take Aya and not something different, more tailored to suit your needs.  Some people see geometric patterns or visions (check out Luis Tamani’s work, there are many more artists who depict well but his is something else!), some people see unicorns and snakes!  As I’ve written before, you need to set an intention about what you want to work on.  Ask about something you hope to uncover about yourself, or some blocks you wish to clear, then my dear, focus on that intention and let the medicine do it’s work..  Some ceremonies I’ve had deep physical reactions, others just a few visuals and soft messages – But I cannot stress enough how important it is who hosts your ceremony, you need to be in hands of someone who knows what they are doing to help guide your journey with as much love and containment as possible (even if it feels from a far).

It was only in my last 4 ceremonies that I ever purged (down purge, very minimal up purge), the last one was intense but then I asked some big questions, and I am still processing from what I asked for now (I’ve already written about the after process here https://core-focus.co.uk/plant-medicines-ayahuasca/).

That’s all I can write on expectations.  As intentions are more important.  I know a lot of people who are scared to drink Aya, scared perhaps of undoing the tight web of protection they’ve weaved around their life to help feel some kind of safety or order in such a mad world; or scared even to face those darker parts of life/themselves which they don’t wish to revisit..  My opinion to this is: there’s nothing to fear except the fear its self.  Undoing those threads may temporarily be uncomfortable, but we only live this life once..  This is just my opinion.  Everyone is different, thankfully 😉

Much love, I hope this answers a few questions for some xx

Posted on

Jungle Pains

pains1

With the rains, so my frustrations eased.

Without the pain, these messages I may not heed.

With every challenge there is some gold.

Find the truth that before was untold.

Work with your pain

and free your mind.

The body is our greatest tool to the soul.

 

Bites, nuances, pain and fear,

this is how you know the answers are near..

Clear your mind and clean your soul.

To be at one with all is the goal.

 

Revel in your anguish as much as you need.

Take the time and forget your speed.

The road is long and the medicine is strong.

Now, my child, your journey has just begun..

Posted on

What I’ve learnt on a Plant Dieta

dieta

Before I embarked on this adventure to diet with a plant, i.e. the drinking of a medicine produced by boiling its bark (or other part of the plant/tree depending on the medicine prescribed for you); I had no idea what I was getting myself in for.

I knew there would be plant ceremonies with the native Ayahuasca on this 2 week retreat, and I knew maybe I’d be eating a clean diet for a while but, I had no idea what I would be getting as a part of the ‘plant-dieta’..

Why do a plant diet/dieta?

When you diet with a plant (also known as a master plant) you are taking on said master plant as a spirit ally, during the plant dieta/diet, you drink a certain amount of the medicine made from this plant (usually a brew from boiled bark or roots, or sometimes it’s put into alcohol) for a set number of days that you have, or that your shaman deems appropriate for you.  In this time, as the plant begins to grow, it also starts healing you; don’t worry, it’s not like you’re going to be taken oven and have a tree growing out of your butt, but rather growing with you energetically and spiritually.

Each plant has different healing properties, they are prescribed based on where you are in life and perhaps what kind of healing you require.  For me, I dieted with a grand tree from the Amazon called Chuchuwasha; I’ve read many different things on it since coming back to the UK but the best correlation I could get between the internet and the wonderful man who was making these medicines out in Peru was that it:

Improves energy (and yes it certainly has for me!  I’ve not felt so good in at least 10 years!), helps decision making and finding ones centre.  Heals scars, heals hernias, colds, burns and it’s used to heal arthritis or rheumatism too.

What does it entail?

As I mentioned before, you need to drink the medicine of this plant for an amount of time (I was in dieta for 12 days with it), at given amounts and times of the day.  For me, this was 1/3 of a small glass 3 times a day, 30 minutes before each meal.  I won’t lie, it tasted foul.  It sometimes also had big gloopy bits, which I tried to drink, but one bit was bigger than my mouth so I had to use it as a medicine for the wildlife outside my tambo (traditional jungle sleeping hut). *gag* gracias medicina *gag*

chuchuDifferent shamans will have different regimes, ours was pretty strict, during dieta when drinking our master plants, we were only permitted to eat basic carbs like rice, quinoa, potatoes and oats, no salt, no sugar, no fruit, no dairy and no condiments or spices.  Also allowed were vegetables, salad (but no onions, tomatoes or avocados) and the occasional small, bony river fish; but no oils, no nuts, no seeds, no meat and no legumes.  This is so that the plant you’re cultivating to be your ally doesn’t get disturbed, so it has the best chance to grown within your energy and stay with you for life.

And seeing as spices are out, of course, no alcohol, no chemical products (not even to wash clothes unless it’s done for you – thank you to the beautiful women taking care of me at the centre), no perfumes, no toothpaste, no shampoo, the odd not too strong essential oil is ok, in moderation.  Different master plants also have their different traits and attributes, some are strong and righteous and therefore require you to be very strict with your diet and post-diet; some are more jealous and may cause adverse effects if you wear the fragrance of other plants too much from soaps or other products.  Also, no sex, no touching or hugging each other and no stimulation from playing music (unless with your own instrument), no TV, there was no wifi to offer temptation luckily, no reading unnecessary materials and to include plenty of meditation, writing and reflective time; but no masturbation either!  If you smoke, you can buy pure tobacco in Peru, or mapachos, which are used in ceremony for protection and cleansing, but no normal tobacco or cigarettes, leave out the chemicals..

It’s important to adhere to how you’ve been advised as not only can it damage the diet and your bond with your plant but it can make you feel really unwell and some say can fire back at your shaman and make them unwell too.  The no touching part and no TV etc is because during dieta you are extremely sensitive and open; you are open to take on the energy of others, which more than likely will not serve you; and of course, you may be dieting with a more jealous master plant!  Nature is the best place to be.  There was minimal electricity at the centre, only a small amount of solar power which I occasionally used to charge my phone to know the time relative to when was dinner/medicine time or upon waking during the night to know how long it’d be until sunrise!

At this centre I also mentioned the work with ayahuasca, wow, this kind of work is never compulsory but I’ve found it deeply profound in helping me to realise or remember several things about who I really am, what I want out of life and even how I can go about changes in myself to align more with the greater good.  The ceremonies are the part where you recieve a shed load of information, remove a few layers of dirt from your internal mirror and re-calibrate where you’re at in life, major reset and healing time.

Thankfully at the retreat centre, everything to do with food is done for you, the expert chefs/muma/sister feed you abundantly on the foods you can eat and ensure you don’t get confused with the food which may be being eaten by non-dieting people who visit the centre; I wish I had planned in to do my post-dieta there too.

What I’ve learnt on a plant dieta?

What I’ve learn on this plant dieta, combined with the interspersed ayahuasca ceremonies (not having them every day is perfect, they require a lot of energy and thus also some proper restoration time after), is about how I received so much energy, so much clarity, healing, and discernment. I had been working with low energy levels for going on 10 years now, major problems with my intestines and digestion and large amounts of anxiety; I feel the power and the spirit of this tree is now a part of me, I feel stronger and more able to take on the world again; even from the position of living in the opportunity mecca of London.

Not only that, but I also reconnected to myself and nature.  The environmental settings are key.  By the second day a big part of me wanted tobobbinsana leave, I was sh*t scared of the hairy caterpillar farm which was a part of my tambo, the spiders who showed up in my mosquito net and all the noises of things I’d never met before.  Not knowing if I would get bitten by something dangerous or, end up with ants in my pants and more than just mosquito bites on my ass, arms and ankles..  Being reassured that there was nothing lethal around me I began to get used to the ants, I stopped trying to kill all the creepy crawlies and instead got to know them, saw them simply moving about their business and neither of us needing to hurt the other.  This is a BIG and ongoing lesson for me..

Combined with the ayahuasca ceremonies I managed to shed a lot of accumulated energies which weren’t mine, and were just weighing me down.  I can now see a lot bigger perspective and a lot more clearly about where I end and another begins, and where we are all actually inseparable.

What now?

So now, I am during my 3rd week post-dieta which means I still have another 10-20 days of restrictive diet to really allow chuchuwasha to settle in my system and also not to shock my system with too many strong foods or products.  I’ve noticed if I do accidentally disturb the diet (having cold water if you’d believe it) or am exposed to the London commute too intensely, that I really feel it.  It’s difficult integrating into ‘normality’, but to be honest, I don’t want to get back to what I previously felt was normal.  We overfill our bodies with refined sugar and weird fats derived and synthesised from all sorts of insanity, repress emotions, and agree to be a part of a jumble of people exuding their disdain for life – no more.  I have no desire to be mindlessly drunk or to suppress any part of me.  The main thing I miss is sex and chocolate (I’m talking 100% organic, farm assured cacao baby), 13 days and counting until those are back in my life.

Interested?

I’m open for questions if anyone else considers on embarking on this incredible, life changing journey.  NOTE: Blog update – it’s taken my some time to process and despite the amazing dieta and healing with beautiful fellow journeyers on this retreat; I renounce my recommendation of this particular centre.  It’s transpired a misplacement of power has occurred, on several occasions.  Unfortunately, many western women (especially blonde) have been pray to shaman who have more ‘power’ then they can handle – unless male, or going in a couple, please seek yourself a FEMALE shaman.  I know an amazing couple who work with medicine who have helped manage this situation with love and understanding, there are always people you can trust, but be sure not to put yourself in a vulnerable space..

Much love, thanks for reading

x

Posted on

I have eyes

eyesMetro

I have eyes and I know you can see,

You have eye so why not look at me?

Look into my eyes and maybe you’ll see,

I’m not as bad as your mind has painted me..

 

I’m not a stranger,

I mean you no danger.

Take a glance in my eyes,

And I, you will recognise.

 

Look into my eyes and you may see, more than this body, hair and battered dignity..

 

See into my open eyes,

And you’ll see more than the distractions outside.

Look into my eyes as you barge past me,

Maybe you’ll be kinder next time, recognising our shared humanity..

 

Why can you not look?  Why do you not see!?

 

Are you too cool, too trendy or just too busy?..

LOOK at the real person you discard as you disregard and push past me.

Drop the front, the o so serious  act,

Seriousness will kill you quicker, that’s a fact!

Or is it pain, which keeps your gaze far from near?

Avoiding my eyes to hide some embedded fear..

 

We’re all tired, hungry, fed up, and want to be else where,

But how to not let this hurt rebound on another, acting as if we don’t care?

You care if I barge past you, or accidentally step on your shoe.

I care if you do the same to me too,

Unless; we share that kind glance,

Make recognition of each others existence.

 

Or, do you misinterpret my intention?  The real reason I look to spark this connection..

 

To glance into each others eyes,

To let our souls connect without guise,

Showing ones self ones own true reflection,

It’s a different kind of affection..

Think of the power for all to be made,

If when standing next to you, we let the disconnections fade..

 

————————————————————————–

When I first moved to London no one believed at first I was English because of my choice to smile and be friendly on the underground.  Over the years I’m finding it hard to keep up.  But, I can’t just let my spirit die with the daily grind, the human spirit is stronger than that!  The Pink Floyd lyrics comes to mind: “Together we Stand, Divided we Fall”

If we can’t come together when standing next to each other on a train or in the street then how?   Smile.  It’s free and it releases endorphins.  🙂